Childhood distortions

I've said ever since Madeline was an infant that our children were going to grow up to be warped individuals.  Why?  Well I never talked to my kids like they were babies, instead I spoke to them the way I would to any other adult.  The result is my kids use words (in proper context) that some adults don't even know (Sorry, Bryan).  It's great to hear small people using words in everyday life that you know are going to show up on the SATs.    Instead of shortening the names of things, we lengthened them--pacification device became our name for what most families will call a pacifier or binky.  We also took the off-beat path when it came to songs and rhyming.  I've got great collections of Mother Goose books (my favorite as a child), but sadly, the history buff in me couldn't leave well enough alone.  No, I had to explain to my toddler aged child the meaning behind Ring Around the Rosy and other nursery rhymes.  In short, the nursery rhymes that did make it into our home had the fun sucked out of them.  But we came up with our own.  A personal favorite of mine is: Madeline smells like pine, never ever turpentine, she's the color of an orange rind. Ah yes, the lovely little ditty that we came up with about our little newborn who was jaundiced. But all of this is a total digression (I do that a lot) from the reason I sat down to do this latest post.

Today I decided that I would acquiesce to the request of my miniature humans and get them McDonald's for lunch.  If you ask Ellie what that place with the golden arches is called she'll tell you it's "Old McDonald's", you know, the guy with the farm.  I hear he grows potatoes and has lots of cows and chickens. So when I asked E if she wanted a cheeseburger from McDonald's I was promptly corrected by her that it was "Old McDonald's".  I need to remember that.  The McDonald's that was torn down and rebuilt two years ago is old.  

On the way to McDonald's I got to listen to the girls fight and then sing songs from vacation bible school.  Just when I thought the kids were done singing those songs which unmercifully keep getting stuck in my head, they start back up (I feel like I'm in the VBS version of the God Father).  Once we got home the God-praising song birds switched gears.  Ellie pointed out "Donald" on the back of her cheeseburger wrapper.  I failed in my attempts to convince her that his name is Ronald.  Then Madeline came out with the zinger that he's that "clownish looking guy".  Are you kidding me?  How is this kid nearly 8 and unaware that Ronald McDonald is a clown?  That was a nice segue for Ellie to announce that she doesn't like clowns.  Honestly, I don't know anyone who actually likes clowns.  

I thought the clown talk was going to be the extent of the weirdness at the kitchen table, but not today!  No, my lovely daughter decides to make her thoughts and musings known.  Madeline decided that lunch was the perfect time declare that she wonders what the inside of a person looks like.  Disturbing, huh?  I told her bloody hoping to change the subject.  Instead, I get the response "I'd like to see that.".  Is this really the same kid that was just singing about Jesus 10 minutes ago?  I finished eating and left the table.  The conversation took too many weird turns.