Thursday, September 10, 2009
Medicines can be amazing things. They can take a body that has been racked with a stubborn fever for eight days and make it feel invincible just four hours after they're consumed. Those same medicines can then take the short lived joy over their amazing abilities and turn your world upside down again.
I had about 40 hours of medicated bliss earlier this week. I felt like I was on top of the world. I could function, I could eat and I could finally work on getting my house back in order. I could even play with my kids and stop feeling guilty for being sick.
Those good feelings started to go away Tuesday. I was in denial that morning that things weren't as great as I was pretending. I couldn't eat my cereal because I was nervous about the first day of school for Madeline. Not because my appetite was gone. Then my reason for not eating was cleaning the house and the litany of other things I needed to do. Turns out I was just in denial of all the nasty side effects of the medicines. The antibiotic has wreaked havoc on my intestines. What goes in, almost instantaneously comes out. And one of these lovely medicines have killed my taste buds. I LOVE food. I miss the flavor of food. Drinks taste like diet versions of what they are (a taste that repulses me). I'm pretty sure I've temporarily lost the ability to taste things that are sweet. I feel lost without my sense of taste. I'm like Capt. Barbosa in the Pirate of the Caribbean.
The only food I ate today that did taste good wound up having a bad ending. While eating, a spice from the chicken and pasta dish I was eating hit me in the back of my throat. I started coughing and couldn't stop. I think Oscar thought I was about to die (I thought this, too.). I've never seen him look so frantic. I tried to drink juice and it wouldn't go down. So I headed to the fridge for water. That's when I vomited on the freshly mopped floor. FUN! And still, the coughing wouldn't stop. So this time I call Bryan to try and tell him that I might be dying and I had the pleasure of vomiting in my kitchen sink. Thank God for garbage disposals. So happy I did not have to scoop that out of the sink. Not that it's funny, but this all happened at a point in Bryan's day when a lot of stuff was going wrong at work. Poor guy. He really had a rough afternoon between me and work. I did however manage to finish my lunch. I couldn't pass up food that tasted like something.
I'm just very bummed about the side effects of these meds. I can handle the intestinal issues (to a degree), but I can't handle the itchy irritation that is also a side effect of this antibiotic in a certain area, the loss of appetite and taste. I called and got a different antibiotic prescribed for me (one I have taken in the past that doesn't bother me). I am really anxious to just feel better.
On top of all of this, I'm also worried about what to do for Madeline's birthday. I have no party planned for this poor child. I'm not sure what we're going to do to celebrate her birthday yet. She was such a huge help to me last week when I was unable to do anything and I just feel terrible that I don't have anything special planned for her. I'm sending her into school tomorrow with soft pretzels to celebrate her birthday with the class. On Saturday we're going to have munchkins and celebrate with her team after their first soccer game of the season. If all goes well I'll be able to get some of her friends over here soon to have a little party or maybe she can take a few friends to see a movie.
My wonderful neighbors helped me out a lot today. Kelly took Ellie for several hours today so she could play with her two younger girls. That allowed me to rest and almost kill myself with my lunch. Joanne has been concerned about me and has been calling me all day to check on me. She was kind enough to pick Madeline up from school. It's amazing how these little acts of kindness can do so much to help me. I'm certain that I feel better today than I did yesterday because of the help they offered me. I'm used to trying to play super mom and do it all. It really isn't easy for me to accept help, but I'm finding that sometimes letting people help me when I clearly need it is precisely what I need to be doing.