Saturday, September 5, 2009
I'm sick of you. You have been living in me for seven days now against my will. I hate you and I think it is time that you move on. Just so you are aware, my body is not supposed to linger between 101 and 102 for the majority of the day for several days with a fever reducer. This problem, is your fault. Also, please be aware that I don't like waking up drenched in sweat. I don't think it's cute. In fact, because of you, I feel rather disgusted with myself right now. Is that what you were aiming for? Also, you irritating virus, I'd like you to know that you have horrible timing. Were you aware that this was the last week of Summer break for my children? You, to quote Ross Geller from Friends, are a "crap weasel".
Because of you my house is a mess. I have piles of unfolded laundry and piles of dirty laundry. My kitchen is a disaster area. My youngest child has had one bath all week. I'm sure you find all of this to be rather amusing. I am not amused. I am ready to kick your sorry butt to the curb. I strongly suggest that you move on.
I'm sure you and all your little virus friends feel invincible now, but I'm sure modern medicine will find a way to obliterate you in the future.