Obviously We Made the Right Choice

Over the past eighteen weeks or so I've had a few moments where I wondered if keeping this pregnancy a secret from some family members and friends was a good idea or not.  The past three days are proving that it absolutely was.  In fact, if I could go back in time three days, I would have urged Bryan to keep this news quiet for just a few weeks more, if it could be helped.

With Madeline and Ellie we pretty much told everyone that we were expecting right away.  I was happy to share our joy with others, but I frequently found myself wishing I wasn't fielding rude comments, prying questions and what I am fairly certain was feigned interest.  What I disliked the most was the unsolicited comments and remarks that the baby "better" be a boy.  Given that I really wanted a girl during each of those pregnancies I found remarks along those lines rather upsetting.

This time around I enjoyed keeping our joyful news to ourselves.  I didn't have people calling me almost everyday during my first trimester asking me how I was feeling.  I didn't have my in-laws pestering me asking if this one feels like a boy.  How on earth would I know if the baby "feels like a boy" when I've never been pregnant with one?  I also got to enjoy several months of no one asking me about names or trying to lobby for me to name the baby after them.  Ok, Madeline's soccer coach is the exception.  He's been lobbying for a little Rohan since he found out I was pregnant many weeks ago.  When he learned the baby is a girl he decided that was OK, we could just call her little Roheina.  I think we're going to pass on that suggestion.

In the past three days since the pregnancy has been known to Bryan's side of the family, all of the grief I had been hoping to avoid has flooded in like a collapsed dam on a small town.  The in-laws seem rather unimpressed that they will have another baby in the family.  My mother-in-law's "husband" has made references to the ultrasound picture saying that our dog is pregnant.  My sister-in-law in trying to guess the baby's gender based on the ultrasound picture has made crass comments that it looks like our little boy is trying to "reach his erect wee-wee."  Who, I ask you, makes such comments about an unborn baby?  I can't tell you how livid I was, and still am about that remark.

What I was prepared for in the least was for anyone to make comments that three kids is enough already.  I'm sorry, but three children in a span of 10+ years is not a lot of kids.  It's not as though I've had three kids in three years or anything like that.  My first child was born in September 2001 and my third child is due in October 2011.  And, it's not that we've chosen to have another child that is the issue, it's actually that this particular person is irritated that she will have to buy gifts for another one of our kids.  Not once have I ever told anyone that they must purchase a present for my children.  I find a comment like this incredibly disturbing considering it came from Madeline's Godmother.  Further proof that I need to find more suitable Godparents for this new baby.  Clearly we haven't done too well in picking Godmothers the first two times.

What I find absolutely remarkable in all of this is that friends, neighbors, parents of my children's classmates, and people who I only know through blogs are more excited about this baby than my husband's side of the family.  And just in case you think that maybe babies are a dime a dozen on his side of the family, they aren't.  We have the only children.  I'm happy that my family are excited about the baby.  My mom has been happily announcing our good news to my aunts who are all delighted to hear about their new great niece who's on the way.  I've yet to hear a negative comment from them.

Maybe the odd reaction I'm getting is just a result of the Culture of Death that seems to have a firm grip on most of society.  It's all very bizarre.