I had meant to write something yesterday, but by the time the kids were in bed I was close to falling asleep on the couch. I attribute that to me having a busy, yet productive day.
Yesterday was the first time in a long time that I not only folded and put away laundry, but I also washed several loads. I've been paying Ellie to do laundry the past several weeks.
Once I got the laundry issue out of the way I had to go to an appointment for blood work. My arm is still hurting from that. On may way into the office I was amazed at just how warm it was. It was 75 a little after noon. After I got home, Bryan and I took a walk around the neighborhood.
While Anthony napped, Katie and I went in the back yard and she played on the swing set. I really feel like that swing set is one of the best back yard purchases we have made since the pool. It's big enough that even I can go up in the tower and stand up. I was a bit annoyed this afternoon to discover some rust on it in a few places since it's not even 6 months old. I'm waiting to hear back from the company to see what they're going to do to resolve the issue. Not sure if they're going to replace the rusted parts or not. I'm sure one way or another we'll get the issue resolved.
The amazing weather we've had is something I'm trying not to miss out on, since I'm sure cold and or rainy days will happen soon enough. I spent so much time outside today that while the kids and I were in line for confession this evening a friend commented that I looked a little burnt.
I have a lot of reviews I need to write in the next few days. I've got some great book ideas for Easter baskets, and I even have a nice dress company to tell you about. I just need to take Katie outside and take some pictures of her in the pretty dress she'll be wearing for Easter.
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 9, 2016
Monday, May 18, 2015
On My Mind
It's been such a long time since I've been able to just sit down and write. I really miss it, but it seems in any given day a small plethora of things just wind up taking precedence over me being able to blog.
Without fishing through previous blog posts, I have no idea how much I've shared about the kids. I had started to write about Katie and her being assessed for speech (which insurance frustratingly denied us coverage). We were told back in October or November that she's likely just a late talker. This past month has been very promising with Katie beginning to talk more. She uses sentences pretty frequently and people who don't live with us are starting to understand the things she does say. I'm in an odd place of feeling thrilled and excited about the words she can say, and yet still feeling frustrated and impatient that she isn't further along with speaking. It's a challenge, but I'm so grateful anytime she utters words I can understand. About two weeks ago she kept asking me "Why?" on a ride home from Target. With my older children the whys got on my nerves after so many iterations of it, but with Katie, I'm rejoicing that she's asking me a question with an actual word. It's interesting how perspective can change.
Anthony is a year old! It's crazy how quickly that first year passed. He's been walking since around Easter, but had started taking his first steps back in February. He's presently on a mission to slip by us and scale the stairs anytime he's sees an open gate. He claps, he waves, he shakes his head no, and tries to tackle me by throwing himself at my legs. Today he almost succeeded in knocking me over. He says words, for which I am very thankful. He can say Mama, Dada, Daddy, no (I'm not exactly thrilled he learned that particular word.), uh-oh and something that sounds remarkably like bye-bye.
The girls are pretty much done with the school year. They both have a state history test to complete and we still need to take a field trip and then we can call History done. Ellie has everything else for the year completed. Math and Madeline just shouldn't even be mentioned in the same sentence. I made an executive call last week and decided that even though she had just finished the final lesson in her math book that we were going to have to start over at the beginning of the fourth quarter and do it again. She wasn't retaining the information and when she would get stumped on classwork, she would go back to whatever lesson the problem was from and look at the example to figure it out. The problem with that was she would get the work done and it would be right, but when it was time to take a test, there was no book for her to look at to see how to do the problems. I'm sure I wasn't her favorite person when I told her we had to start over. Right now I'm going over two lessons a day with her and hand selecting the problems she struggles the most with to make sure she really understands how to do them so she won't have a problem when it's time to take the test.
Soccer season is still going. We had a lot of bad weather in March so three weeks of games that should have happened got cancelled or rescheduled for later in the spring. So while soccer should have wrapped up this past Saturday, it won't be done until June 6th. So that means that twice a week soccer practices will also keep going for the rest of this month and into June.
I came to the realization a few weeks ago that I've been praying for a specific intention for over six years now without seeing the result I'd love to see. Perhaps Our Lord is helping me to learn to be patient. Here and there I've seen articles and what not that say things to the effect that when a prayer isn't answered in the timing that you expect, it's because your heart isn't yet prepared to fully appreciate it. So on those days when I feel a bit like this is a hopeless cause and I feel like I'm on the brink of despair, I think maybe, just maybe that's it. It's also in those moments where I think that I should have a better relationship with St. Monica. I know she knows how I feel.
Since it's been over two months since I last wrote anything I suppose I should also mention that Madeline was confirmed last month. She chose Maria for her confirmation name to honor the Blessed Mother. I have every intention of putting together a post with pictures soon, I hope.
The VBS program had reached the max number of children we can take two months before hitting the registration deadline. I think registration was open for only about seven or eight weeks. Either the program has gained a really good reputation over these past few years, or the parents are really eager to get fifteen hours of kid free time for just $40 per child. Right now I'm working on making sure I have all of the volunteers that we need and I'm trying to pick out the music for the program. I'm almost there. Instead of stressing about it as I have in years past, I've just been focusing more on praying about it and seeing where the Spirit leads me.
The little man has just woken up from his nap. If all goes well, I'll find time later to add some pictures.
Without fishing through previous blog posts, I have no idea how much I've shared about the kids. I had started to write about Katie and her being assessed for speech (which insurance frustratingly denied us coverage). We were told back in October or November that she's likely just a late talker. This past month has been very promising with Katie beginning to talk more. She uses sentences pretty frequently and people who don't live with us are starting to understand the things she does say. I'm in an odd place of feeling thrilled and excited about the words she can say, and yet still feeling frustrated and impatient that she isn't further along with speaking. It's a challenge, but I'm so grateful anytime she utters words I can understand. About two weeks ago she kept asking me "Why?" on a ride home from Target. With my older children the whys got on my nerves after so many iterations of it, but with Katie, I'm rejoicing that she's asking me a question with an actual word. It's interesting how perspective can change.
Anthony is a year old! It's crazy how quickly that first year passed. He's been walking since around Easter, but had started taking his first steps back in February. He's presently on a mission to slip by us and scale the stairs anytime he's sees an open gate. He claps, he waves, he shakes his head no, and tries to tackle me by throwing himself at my legs. Today he almost succeeded in knocking me over. He says words, for which I am very thankful. He can say Mama, Dada, Daddy, no (I'm not exactly thrilled he learned that particular word.), uh-oh and something that sounds remarkably like bye-bye.
The girls are pretty much done with the school year. They both have a state history test to complete and we still need to take a field trip and then we can call History done. Ellie has everything else for the year completed. Math and Madeline just shouldn't even be mentioned in the same sentence. I made an executive call last week and decided that even though she had just finished the final lesson in her math book that we were going to have to start over at the beginning of the fourth quarter and do it again. She wasn't retaining the information and when she would get stumped on classwork, she would go back to whatever lesson the problem was from and look at the example to figure it out. The problem with that was she would get the work done and it would be right, but when it was time to take a test, there was no book for her to look at to see how to do the problems. I'm sure I wasn't her favorite person when I told her we had to start over. Right now I'm going over two lessons a day with her and hand selecting the problems she struggles the most with to make sure she really understands how to do them so she won't have a problem when it's time to take the test.
Soccer season is still going. We had a lot of bad weather in March so three weeks of games that should have happened got cancelled or rescheduled for later in the spring. So while soccer should have wrapped up this past Saturday, it won't be done until June 6th. So that means that twice a week soccer practices will also keep going for the rest of this month and into June.
I came to the realization a few weeks ago that I've been praying for a specific intention for over six years now without seeing the result I'd love to see. Perhaps Our Lord is helping me to learn to be patient. Here and there I've seen articles and what not that say things to the effect that when a prayer isn't answered in the timing that you expect, it's because your heart isn't yet prepared to fully appreciate it. So on those days when I feel a bit like this is a hopeless cause and I feel like I'm on the brink of despair, I think maybe, just maybe that's it. It's also in those moments where I think that I should have a better relationship with St. Monica. I know she knows how I feel.
Since it's been over two months since I last wrote anything I suppose I should also mention that Madeline was confirmed last month. She chose Maria for her confirmation name to honor the Blessed Mother. I have every intention of putting together a post with pictures soon, I hope.
The VBS program had reached the max number of children we can take two months before hitting the registration deadline. I think registration was open for only about seven or eight weeks. Either the program has gained a really good reputation over these past few years, or the parents are really eager to get fifteen hours of kid free time for just $40 per child. Right now I'm working on making sure I have all of the volunteers that we need and I'm trying to pick out the music for the program. I'm almost there. Instead of stressing about it as I have in years past, I've just been focusing more on praying about it and seeing where the Spirit leads me.
The little man has just woken up from his nap. If all goes well, I'll find time later to add some pictures.
Wednesday, January 28, 2015
On Vomit and Confession
My past week has really been something. It's the kind of something that I'd choose never to experience again if I were in control of such things and I'd certainly go back and delete it if that were even a possibility.
Last Friday afternoon Anthony started spitting up huge amounts. So much that I started to question whether there might have been oatmeal in his new box of rice cereal since he was reacting the way he does when he has oatmeal. The spitting up, which we later realized was vomit, kept happening, and it wasn't until he vomited about two ounces of baby food that I was still in the process of feeding him for dinner that we realized there was something other than just regular spit up going on. Almost immediately after the disturbing dinnertime display he began vomiting a lot and his color quickly turned very sickly looking. He was starting to remind us of how Katie looked when she dehydrated from her bout with pneumonia so Bryan ran out and got him pedialyte and we began hydrating him every ten minutes with a few MLs of pedialyte. After an hour or two he was seeming a bit better, but it was obvious that he wasn't feeling well.
Neither of us was comfortable with the idea of putting him to be in his room, so we set up a playpen in the family room and decided he would stay down there with us until we were certain the vomiting had passed and he was hydrated. I had kept telling Bryan that I thought I felt sick, too, but he kept telling me that I was just worried about the baby and his impending business trip to Denver. I figured he was right since I do stress out to the point of feeling ill when he goes away and I was also stressing out about the baby.
Around ten or eleven at night I started getting sick. By midnight I was vomiting all over the bathroom floor because I had no other choice. Within minutes Bryan was also sick and once the next wave of feeling sick came around Bryan and I were practically doing synchronized vomiting. Then Anthony got in on the action and woke up wanting of all things, to be fed and held and neither Bryan and I were in a position to tend to him. Nursing a baby while succumbing to a nasty stomach virus just isn't possible.
We ended up having to wake Madeline at 1AM and have her come down to take care of the baby and help us as we tried to clean up two bathrooms that were covered in vomit. An hour or so later Katie woke up and had vomited all over her bed, herself and her carpet. So Madeline had a new patient. I tried as best I could to help clean up the mess, but that's not easy when you're also throwing up and running to the bathroom every few minutes. We got Katie settled and an hour or two later Ellie fell victim to the same horrid fate as the rest of us [except Madeline].
I don't think Madeline got much sleep the rest of the night as she helped her younger siblings and did her best to get the loads and loads of vomit laundry through the washer. She came through for us in a huge way. I'm not sure if we would have survived without her. She kept the baby hydrated, made sure Bryan, the girls and I had drinks, saltines and orange slices.
I'm amazed that the didn't get hit with the stomach bug, too, but we think she may have had it last month. The day after Christmas she was sick and had very similar symptoms to the rest of us. She was the only one to get sick with it then.
The timing for this virus was not ideal. Bryan was getting ready to leave for a business trip and I had loosely planned out my Saturday. Once I had gotten sick I realized that heading to Mass for the feast day of St. Francis de Sales who has become one of my favorite saints over the past year or two was out. And going to confession was also out. Soon enough I realized that there was no way I was able to teach my CCD class on Sunday and there was no way we could go to Mass and share our grotesque stomach bug with everyone else. Even though we all stopped vomiting by early Saturday morning the fun of horrible body aches, fevers and dizziness were just getting warmed up for their two day stay. I laid on the couch thinking to myself that labor, strep throat, ear infections, and possibly hand foot and mouth disease were all less miserable. Of course, that last one is a misery in itself and I'd rather have the stomach bug for a few days than relive a day of hand, foot and mouth disease.
We were mostly all on the mend by very late Sunday night or Monday morning. Katie and Ellie had some lingering effects for a day or two after, but were doing much better by today. Anthony, on the other hand, will seem like he's doing just fine and out of nowhere have an explosive diaper. That I could handle. But this evening I fed him dinner and then loaded the kids into the car so we could go to confession. All was going well. We were there right at 6:00 when confessions begin and I was hopeful that we might not be at the end of a long line since the parking lot hardly had any cars in it. Then I opened the door to get Anthony and was met with a baby sitting in a puddle of vomit that consisted of all the freshly pureed peas I had just fed him.
I thought maybe the spit up wasn't as bad as I thought but a quick attempt to clean him up with a burp cloth revealed that there was no way I was getting this child out of his seat and standing in a line for confession. We would have had a slimy green trail following us. It was that bad. It was so bad that I took pictures when we got home so I could show Bryan.
As I stood in the cold parking lot completely defeated, I told the girls to get back in the car. They were more than happy to comply. I was just left with the feeling that if I didn't need to go to confession when I pulled into the church parking lot, I certainly needed to go now. Patience had officially left the building. Inside my head I raised my little white flag of surrender to God, all the while grumbling that I now had a phenomenally bad mess to clean.
When we got home I made the unhappy discovery that Anthony needed bath number two in four hours. The kid was covered in green pea vomit. Can I shock all of you and tell you that I've bathed Anthony three times in the past two days which is more times than I've bathed him in the past month. Bryan is much better at washing babies than I am, so I usually propose to him that I'll dry and dress the baby if he washes. So yes, he's cleaned regularly, just not by me. I will say that I'm feeling more confident washing him after the last two baths I gave him today.
Once he was cleaned I set about getting his clothes sent down to the laundry room only to discover that the dog decided to try washing them. Arrgh! Why are dogs so gross?
The real fun began when I had to pull the carseat out of the van. That cute cover that can be pulled off for washing so you don't have to remove the harness is a load of crap for people who don't live in reality land. When junior pukes all over the harness and there's so much vomit that it dribbles out of the car seat and onto the car upholstery, the easy remove seat pad is worthless. I had lots of choice words and thoughts about the engineers and designers of the Britax Marathon 70-G3. Ignore my 5 star review of it on Amazon. I obviously didn't have real world baby disaster experience with the seat when I wrote the review. My recurring thought was "What genius makes a car seat where the *@&%@*$ harness cannot be removed?!" It's covered in green pea sludge and the omnipotent owners manual is telling me to "sponge clean" the harness if it needs to be cleaned. Ok, Britax manual writer....you're drunk, you probably don't have any children and have never had to clean up green vomit; it's time to pack it up and go home.
So picture me dear readers at the kitchen sink with a giant car seat sitting on the counter top with the harness, dripping with green oozy grossness hanging out of the bottom of the seat and into the sink so I can wash it with mild soap. The seat and the fantastic design that does not allow the harness to come out is an occasion of sin, my friends. Plain and simple. On the bright side, I kept all the expletives that I had regarding the seat, and it's designers in my head so the kids were at least spared that nice little show.
Madeline had very kindly offered to clean the puddle of green slime off the car upholstery, so that was a huge help. I was really impressed to see that the got it all up. I guess she gained some practical life experience this past weekend.
I was going to attempt to put the carseat cover back on the seat tonight and get it back out in the van, but it's not dry. I hope it will dry sometime this evening so I can get everything back where it belongs. I'd really like to get to Mass tomorrow morning. This is one of those times where I wish I didn't keep our spare carseat in Bryan's car. Since he's out in Denver until tomorrow, my spare seat is sitting over in the Philly airport parking lot. Some days it just seems like nothing can be easy. Too bad this happens to be one of those days, right?
I'm looking forward to tomorrow. Bryan will be back and I don't know about you, but I'm confident that it's going to be a vomit free day. If it's not, I'm going to go and eat a lot of chocolate and have a glass of cranberry wine.
If you made it to the end, thanks for sticking with me. I promise not to talk so much about vomit next time. Maybe I'll talk about the upcoming name change for the blog. Oh and how happy are you that I didn't share any pictures with this story? I almost did. Sure they aren't something anyone really wants to see, but the watermark on the picture would have revealed the new name for my blog.
Last Friday afternoon Anthony started spitting up huge amounts. So much that I started to question whether there might have been oatmeal in his new box of rice cereal since he was reacting the way he does when he has oatmeal. The spitting up, which we later realized was vomit, kept happening, and it wasn't until he vomited about two ounces of baby food that I was still in the process of feeding him for dinner that we realized there was something other than just regular spit up going on. Almost immediately after the disturbing dinnertime display he began vomiting a lot and his color quickly turned very sickly looking. He was starting to remind us of how Katie looked when she dehydrated from her bout with pneumonia so Bryan ran out and got him pedialyte and we began hydrating him every ten minutes with a few MLs of pedialyte. After an hour or two he was seeming a bit better, but it was obvious that he wasn't feeling well.
Neither of us was comfortable with the idea of putting him to be in his room, so we set up a playpen in the family room and decided he would stay down there with us until we were certain the vomiting had passed and he was hydrated. I had kept telling Bryan that I thought I felt sick, too, but he kept telling me that I was just worried about the baby and his impending business trip to Denver. I figured he was right since I do stress out to the point of feeling ill when he goes away and I was also stressing out about the baby.
Around ten or eleven at night I started getting sick. By midnight I was vomiting all over the bathroom floor because I had no other choice. Within minutes Bryan was also sick and once the next wave of feeling sick came around Bryan and I were practically doing synchronized vomiting. Then Anthony got in on the action and woke up wanting of all things, to be fed and held and neither Bryan and I were in a position to tend to him. Nursing a baby while succumbing to a nasty stomach virus just isn't possible.
We ended up having to wake Madeline at 1AM and have her come down to take care of the baby and help us as we tried to clean up two bathrooms that were covered in vomit. An hour or so later Katie woke up and had vomited all over her bed, herself and her carpet. So Madeline had a new patient. I tried as best I could to help clean up the mess, but that's not easy when you're also throwing up and running to the bathroom every few minutes. We got Katie settled and an hour or two later Ellie fell victim to the same horrid fate as the rest of us [except Madeline].
I don't think Madeline got much sleep the rest of the night as she helped her younger siblings and did her best to get the loads and loads of vomit laundry through the washer. She came through for us in a huge way. I'm not sure if we would have survived without her. She kept the baby hydrated, made sure Bryan, the girls and I had drinks, saltines and orange slices.
I'm amazed that the didn't get hit with the stomach bug, too, but we think she may have had it last month. The day after Christmas she was sick and had very similar symptoms to the rest of us. She was the only one to get sick with it then.
The timing for this virus was not ideal. Bryan was getting ready to leave for a business trip and I had loosely planned out my Saturday. Once I had gotten sick I realized that heading to Mass for the feast day of St. Francis de Sales who has become one of my favorite saints over the past year or two was out. And going to confession was also out. Soon enough I realized that there was no way I was able to teach my CCD class on Sunday and there was no way we could go to Mass and share our grotesque stomach bug with everyone else. Even though we all stopped vomiting by early Saturday morning the fun of horrible body aches, fevers and dizziness were just getting warmed up for their two day stay. I laid on the couch thinking to myself that labor, strep throat, ear infections, and possibly hand foot and mouth disease were all less miserable. Of course, that last one is a misery in itself and I'd rather have the stomach bug for a few days than relive a day of hand, foot and mouth disease.
We were mostly all on the mend by very late Sunday night or Monday morning. Katie and Ellie had some lingering effects for a day or two after, but were doing much better by today. Anthony, on the other hand, will seem like he's doing just fine and out of nowhere have an explosive diaper. That I could handle. But this evening I fed him dinner and then loaded the kids into the car so we could go to confession. All was going well. We were there right at 6:00 when confessions begin and I was hopeful that we might not be at the end of a long line since the parking lot hardly had any cars in it. Then I opened the door to get Anthony and was met with a baby sitting in a puddle of vomit that consisted of all the freshly pureed peas I had just fed him.
I thought maybe the spit up wasn't as bad as I thought but a quick attempt to clean him up with a burp cloth revealed that there was no way I was getting this child out of his seat and standing in a line for confession. We would have had a slimy green trail following us. It was that bad. It was so bad that I took pictures when we got home so I could show Bryan.
As I stood in the cold parking lot completely defeated, I told the girls to get back in the car. They were more than happy to comply. I was just left with the feeling that if I didn't need to go to confession when I pulled into the church parking lot, I certainly needed to go now. Patience had officially left the building. Inside my head I raised my little white flag of surrender to God, all the while grumbling that I now had a phenomenally bad mess to clean.
When we got home I made the unhappy discovery that Anthony needed bath number two in four hours. The kid was covered in green pea vomit. Can I shock all of you and tell you that I've bathed Anthony three times in the past two days which is more times than I've bathed him in the past month. Bryan is much better at washing babies than I am, so I usually propose to him that I'll dry and dress the baby if he washes. So yes, he's cleaned regularly, just not by me. I will say that I'm feeling more confident washing him after the last two baths I gave him today.
Once he was cleaned I set about getting his clothes sent down to the laundry room only to discover that the dog decided to try washing them. Arrgh! Why are dogs so gross?
The real fun began when I had to pull the carseat out of the van. That cute cover that can be pulled off for washing so you don't have to remove the harness is a load of crap for people who don't live in reality land. When junior pukes all over the harness and there's so much vomit that it dribbles out of the car seat and onto the car upholstery, the easy remove seat pad is worthless. I had lots of choice words and thoughts about the engineers and designers of the Britax Marathon 70-G3. Ignore my 5 star review of it on Amazon. I obviously didn't have real world baby disaster experience with the seat when I wrote the review. My recurring thought was "What genius makes a car seat where the *@&%@*$ harness cannot be removed?!" It's covered in green pea sludge and the omnipotent owners manual is telling me to "sponge clean" the harness if it needs to be cleaned. Ok, Britax manual writer....you're drunk, you probably don't have any children and have never had to clean up green vomit; it's time to pack it up and go home.
So picture me dear readers at the kitchen sink with a giant car seat sitting on the counter top with the harness, dripping with green oozy grossness hanging out of the bottom of the seat and into the sink so I can wash it with mild soap. The seat and the fantastic design that does not allow the harness to come out is an occasion of sin, my friends. Plain and simple. On the bright side, I kept all the expletives that I had regarding the seat, and it's designers in my head so the kids were at least spared that nice little show.
Madeline had very kindly offered to clean the puddle of green slime off the car upholstery, so that was a huge help. I was really impressed to see that the got it all up. I guess she gained some practical life experience this past weekend.
I was going to attempt to put the carseat cover back on the seat tonight and get it back out in the van, but it's not dry. I hope it will dry sometime this evening so I can get everything back where it belongs. I'd really like to get to Mass tomorrow morning. This is one of those times where I wish I didn't keep our spare carseat in Bryan's car. Since he's out in Denver until tomorrow, my spare seat is sitting over in the Philly airport parking lot. Some days it just seems like nothing can be easy. Too bad this happens to be one of those days, right?
I'm looking forward to tomorrow. Bryan will be back and I don't know about you, but I'm confident that it's going to be a vomit free day. If it's not, I'm going to go and eat a lot of chocolate and have a glass of cranberry wine.
If you made it to the end, thanks for sticking with me. I promise not to talk so much about vomit next time. Maybe I'll talk about the upcoming name change for the blog. Oh and how happy are you that I didn't share any pictures with this story? I almost did. Sure they aren't something anyone really wants to see, but the watermark on the picture would have revealed the new name for my blog.
Wednesday, August 20, 2014
Busy, busy, busy!
It seems like there's always something going on around here. It's like there's never time to sit down and just write a blog post, or I start to write one and suddenly there's a queue of kids asking me what feels like a thousand questions.
Last week I had the hardest time sleeping for a couple of days and after two nights of only four hours of sleep each night I was completely exhausted. Despite feeling incredibly tired I then found that I just couldn't sleep. It wasn't until Friday that I started to be able to catch up on sleep. I'm just now starting to feel like I've had enough sleep to function properly.
I think were now a laundry generating machine. Anthony spits up so much that I think he creates a load of wash a day all on his own. He's on Zantac, but it's not helping with the spit up as much as I would like. This morning at Mass he had such a massive spit up during the Our Father right as we said "Thy will be done" that there was an audible splash and enough dripping off my arm that our friends about seven pews back commented on the dripping spit up after Mass. Lovely.
That Mass was just a fun-filled 45 minutes of mortification. Between Katie acting like a two year old, which she is, but she really ramped it up this morning, and Ellie grabbing Katie by the head during a novena to move her out of the way, along with Anthony's excessive spitting up, I was ready to go crawl into a hole and stay there for the rest of the day.
Later in the day the dog decided to get stuck under the shed. If it were left to me, I would have just let him try to figure out how to get unstuck on his own, but Bryan and the girls are much nicer to him than I am. It took Bryan a little while but he rescued the dog who then tried to go right back under the shed again. I imagine there must be something under there that has him very interested.
This Friday the girls will wrap up their third week of school. We're 1/12 of the way through the school year! So far it's going well. They're getting everything done for the most part. I decided to just have the girls work off the lesson plans that Seton sent us rather than copy them into an excel spreadsheet for the week. I like it better this way, but Madeline doesn't. This way makes it harder for her to ignore the details that don't fit on the spreadsheet.
Soccer has one again taken over. Two nights a week the girls and Bryan go off to soccer practice while I stay home with Katie and Anthony. Being alone with the two little ones at the end of a long day can be exhausting. I've seen more Sofia the First, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and Cinderella than I care to remember. I've also read Katie's favorite Tomie DePaola books to the point that even the newer ones we're recently added are almost memorized by me. I have quite the collection of children's books memorized. Too bad I can't use that awesome mom skill to remember what we need to buy at Target or the grocery store!
I think it's possible that me eating dairy foods may be making Anthony's reflux worse. I've been noticing that when I eat a lot of dairy that he spits up a lot more than on the days when I haven't, particularly a day or two after not having much or any diary. So, of course, after noticing this yesterday I sat down and had Tostitos and sour cream--a lot of sour cream. Today I spent all day wiping up copious amounts of cheesy spit up. So I'm going to try going dairy free for a few days to see if there's a change. I really don't want to have to possibly eliminate dairy, but I'd like him to not be spitting up all the time. So if I must, I'll stop eating it. I'll just have to figure out what to eat instead if diary does turn out to be the culprit.
Is it bad that Anthony will be four months old in eleven days and I still haven't ordered birth announcements? I sent them out for the girls but just never got around to doing them for Anthony. I feel like it might be silly to send them out now, but at the same time I hate to not have a birth announcement for him when I had one for each of his sisters.
That's pretty much the nickel tour of what's been going on around here. Nothing spectacular, just regular everyday craziness.
Last week I had the hardest time sleeping for a couple of days and after two nights of only four hours of sleep each night I was completely exhausted. Despite feeling incredibly tired I then found that I just couldn't sleep. It wasn't until Friday that I started to be able to catch up on sleep. I'm just now starting to feel like I've had enough sleep to function properly.
I think were now a laundry generating machine. Anthony spits up so much that I think he creates a load of wash a day all on his own. He's on Zantac, but it's not helping with the spit up as much as I would like. This morning at Mass he had such a massive spit up during the Our Father right as we said "Thy will be done" that there was an audible splash and enough dripping off my arm that our friends about seven pews back commented on the dripping spit up after Mass. Lovely.
That Mass was just a fun-filled 45 minutes of mortification. Between Katie acting like a two year old, which she is, but she really ramped it up this morning, and Ellie grabbing Katie by the head during a novena to move her out of the way, along with Anthony's excessive spitting up, I was ready to go crawl into a hole and stay there for the rest of the day.
Later in the day the dog decided to get stuck under the shed. If it were left to me, I would have just let him try to figure out how to get unstuck on his own, but Bryan and the girls are much nicer to him than I am. It took Bryan a little while but he rescued the dog who then tried to go right back under the shed again. I imagine there must be something under there that has him very interested.
This Friday the girls will wrap up their third week of school. We're 1/12 of the way through the school year! So far it's going well. They're getting everything done for the most part. I decided to just have the girls work off the lesson plans that Seton sent us rather than copy them into an excel spreadsheet for the week. I like it better this way, but Madeline doesn't. This way makes it harder for her to ignore the details that don't fit on the spreadsheet.
Soccer has one again taken over. Two nights a week the girls and Bryan go off to soccer practice while I stay home with Katie and Anthony. Being alone with the two little ones at the end of a long day can be exhausting. I've seen more Sofia the First, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and Cinderella than I care to remember. I've also read Katie's favorite Tomie DePaola books to the point that even the newer ones we're recently added are almost memorized by me. I have quite the collection of children's books memorized. Too bad I can't use that awesome mom skill to remember what we need to buy at Target or the grocery store!
I think it's possible that me eating dairy foods may be making Anthony's reflux worse. I've been noticing that when I eat a lot of dairy that he spits up a lot more than on the days when I haven't, particularly a day or two after not having much or any diary. So, of course, after noticing this yesterday I sat down and had Tostitos and sour cream--a lot of sour cream. Today I spent all day wiping up copious amounts of cheesy spit up. So I'm going to try going dairy free for a few days to see if there's a change. I really don't want to have to possibly eliminate dairy, but I'd like him to not be spitting up all the time. So if I must, I'll stop eating it. I'll just have to figure out what to eat instead if diary does turn out to be the culprit.
Is it bad that Anthony will be four months old in eleven days and I still haven't ordered birth announcements? I sent them out for the girls but just never got around to doing them for Anthony. I feel like it might be silly to send them out now, but at the same time I hate to not have a birth announcement for him when I had one for each of his sisters.
That's pretty much the nickel tour of what's been going on around here. Nothing spectacular, just regular everyday craziness.
Monday, July 14, 2014
Four Kids Will Keep You Busy!
I can't believe that I've only blogged two or three times since Anthony was born on May 1st. I feel like my blog has been set on the back burner for the longest time. All I can say is the past eleven months have felt like some of the busiest months of my life.
Things are going well here and I'm continually amazed at how sweet this new little love of mine is. I can't believe I spent so much time worried that I wouldn't adore this little man as much as I do my girls. I really didn't think I'd have any clue what to do with a little boy but I have to say having a boy baby isn't too different from having a girl other than the obvious differences and the overall absence of whining and crying. How come nobody told me boys were so easy going? Anthony is so laid back that I'd be prefectly content to have more just like him.
I have so much I want to blog about so I will hopefully be able to find some time in the next few weeks to fill you in on what we've been up to. Here are are few highlights.
Madeline completed her first year of homeschooling and she managed to finish up the year a full three weeks before the kids in public school finished.
Ellie will be joining us for school this year. When I re-enrolled Madeline for 8th grade we also enrolled Ellie for 4th grade. Can I tell you how excited I am that we're done with the public school? I know Ellie is excited about homeschooling, too. She seems to be telling everyone about it.
I think Katie has adjusted to having a little brother for the most part. She still has moments here and there where she seems jealous but overall she seems content to have a real baby in the house.
Anthony was baptized on the feast day of St. Anthony of Padua. I couldn't resist having him baptized on the feast day of his patron saint.
VBS took place last week. How I managed to pull off coordinating VBS this year while pregnant/having just had a baby will remain a mystery. All I can say is I have some amazing friends and family members who all helped me out tremendously. Last week was great and I enjoyed seeing all of the kids having a great time.
Anthony had his 2 month well visit last week. He's growing so fast. He's 12 lbs 11oz and 23 1/4 inches long. He's already outgrown some of his 0-3 month outfits and is on the verge of outgrowing the rest. It's crazy! Between 6 and 8 weeks old he went from looking like a newborn to looking more like a three month old.
As if having a new baby and running VBS wasn't enough, we also had a birthday party to plan for yesterday. Ellie turned nine yesterday and we celebrated with a Frozen pool party. I can't believe she's nine already. It's amazing how quickly time passes. It doesn't seem like that long ago that we had just moved into this house and celebrated her second birthday and already she's nine years old.
Things are going well here and I'm continually amazed at how sweet this new little love of mine is. I can't believe I spent so much time worried that I wouldn't adore this little man as much as I do my girls. I really didn't think I'd have any clue what to do with a little boy but I have to say having a boy baby isn't too different from having a girl other than the obvious differences and the overall absence of whining and crying. How come nobody told me boys were so easy going? Anthony is so laid back that I'd be prefectly content to have more just like him.
I have so much I want to blog about so I will hopefully be able to find some time in the next few weeks to fill you in on what we've been up to. Here are are few highlights.
Madeline completed her first year of homeschooling and she managed to finish up the year a full three weeks before the kids in public school finished.
Ellie will be joining us for school this year. When I re-enrolled Madeline for 8th grade we also enrolled Ellie for 4th grade. Can I tell you how excited I am that we're done with the public school? I know Ellie is excited about homeschooling, too. She seems to be telling everyone about it.
I think Katie has adjusted to having a little brother for the most part. She still has moments here and there where she seems jealous but overall she seems content to have a real baby in the house.
Anthony was baptized on the feast day of St. Anthony of Padua. I couldn't resist having him baptized on the feast day of his patron saint.
VBS took place last week. How I managed to pull off coordinating VBS this year while pregnant/having just had a baby will remain a mystery. All I can say is I have some amazing friends and family members who all helped me out tremendously. Last week was great and I enjoyed seeing all of the kids having a great time.
Anthony had his 2 month well visit last week. He's growing so fast. He's 12 lbs 11oz and 23 1/4 inches long. He's already outgrown some of his 0-3 month outfits and is on the verge of outgrowing the rest. It's crazy! Between 6 and 8 weeks old he went from looking like a newborn to looking more like a three month old.
As if having a new baby and running VBS wasn't enough, we also had a birthday party to plan for yesterday. Ellie turned nine yesterday and we celebrated with a Frozen pool party. I can't believe she's nine already. It's amazing how quickly time passes. It doesn't seem like that long ago that we had just moved into this house and celebrated her second birthday and already she's nine years old.
So I think this wraps up my little highlight tour of what we've been up to this past month and a half. I hope to be able to put together a post about Anthony's baptism and Ellie's Frozen party later this week. I have a lot of pictures to share and I was so pleased with how well Ellie's party came together that I need to tell you how easily everything came together and why I'm convinced that I must get a die cut machine. (Hint: Look at the snowflake decorations in the background of each of the birthday pictures.)
Thursday, April 10, 2014
Are we there yet?
The third trimester is really doing a number on me this time around. Keeping up with a two year old, trying to keep the house in order and get everything ready for the new baby along with making sure we stay on track with homeschooling is a lot of work. Most days I feel like I'm going to fall asleep while I sit in the parking lot at Ellie's school waiting for her to come out. Saying I feel exhausted at times would be a huge understatement.
I feel like our plans for Lent never really took off. I had planned to do the Jesus tree readings with the girls each day but the closest we ever got to doing it was me hanging up the felt tree and taking out the ornaments. They'll all still sitting in the basket waiting to be used. Aside from the kids just being busy with soccer practices and everything else that crops up, I just couldn't find the motivation to dig out the list with the daily readings and the picture bible that went with it. I feel so lazy with regards to this, but I keep reminding myself that the bean jar and merciful cross Lenten activities are going well. And, the girls are at daily Mass with me most days so that has to count for something.
I decided once again to do the 40 bags in 40 days thing for Lent and that's going really well. I've detached myself from a lot of material things and I'm still not done. I've lost track of how much we have given away, donated and tossed but I know we've gone past 40 bags or boxes. I just started going through the baby girl clothes today. My goal is to get through all of the sizes Katie has outgrown before Easter. I'm trying to whittle down what we have to a reasonable amount of clothing in case we ever have another baby girl. For the new baby, I'm trying not to buy more clothing that what we would reasonably need. I have a hard time resisting cute baby clothes so this is a bit of a challenge for me.
I'm almost ready for Easter. Candy is purchased and most of what I need for the baskets I have already procured. I still have a few items that I need to order and I suppose I should do it soon.
Tomorrow I'll be 36 weeks along. I've been feeling really off the past few days. I can walk a mile around the neighborhood and feel fine but going up a flight of stairs makes me feel like I'm going to pass out from exhaustion. At my doctors appointment yesterday they were concerned that my blood pressure was elevated but after having me lie down for a few minutes and taking my blood pressure again they were able to get a slighly lower reading. So I'm wondering if perhaps I'm on the brink of having some sort of issue. I really don't feel right and can't recall ever having felt like this with the other pregnancies. I go for a non-stress test and an ultrasound to check the amniotic fluid level tomorrow.
Madeline's third marking period is behind us now and she's working her way towards the end. I have most of the lessons plans for the rest of the year finished. If we're able to keep everything on track even with a newborn in the house sometime in the next 2-5 weeks, she will be done before June.
Not knowing just when the baby will arrive makes me anxious. I really wish I knew when labor was going to happen. It would make things easier if I could just add it to the schedule. I'm hoping he makes his entrance sooner rather than later. Things are getting a bit cramped and uncomforable in my torso and I sure would appreciate the breathing room.
I still don't think Katie gets that we're going to have a baby in the house soon. We talk about the baby but it all seems to just go over her head. I'm really not sure how she's going to react when we bring her little brother home. She really loves babies so I'm hoping she will be happy to have a baby in the house but I'm bracing myself for what I suspect could be a difficult transistion for her.
I think this pretty much wraps up all the things I've had swirling around in my head that I haven't been able to blog about. I have pictures of Katie enjoying the nice spring weather we've had the past week or so and also pictures from the older girls' soccer games. I've gone to four soccer games in the past week! I'm trying to get to as many of their games as I can before the baby arrives since I don't know if I'll be at many or any for the rest of the season once the baby is here.
I feel like our plans for Lent never really took off. I had planned to do the Jesus tree readings with the girls each day but the closest we ever got to doing it was me hanging up the felt tree and taking out the ornaments. They'll all still sitting in the basket waiting to be used. Aside from the kids just being busy with soccer practices and everything else that crops up, I just couldn't find the motivation to dig out the list with the daily readings and the picture bible that went with it. I feel so lazy with regards to this, but I keep reminding myself that the bean jar and merciful cross Lenten activities are going well. And, the girls are at daily Mass with me most days so that has to count for something.
I decided once again to do the 40 bags in 40 days thing for Lent and that's going really well. I've detached myself from a lot of material things and I'm still not done. I've lost track of how much we have given away, donated and tossed but I know we've gone past 40 bags or boxes. I just started going through the baby girl clothes today. My goal is to get through all of the sizes Katie has outgrown before Easter. I'm trying to whittle down what we have to a reasonable amount of clothing in case we ever have another baby girl. For the new baby, I'm trying not to buy more clothing that what we would reasonably need. I have a hard time resisting cute baby clothes so this is a bit of a challenge for me.
I'm almost ready for Easter. Candy is purchased and most of what I need for the baskets I have already procured. I still have a few items that I need to order and I suppose I should do it soon.
Tomorrow I'll be 36 weeks along. I've been feeling really off the past few days. I can walk a mile around the neighborhood and feel fine but going up a flight of stairs makes me feel like I'm going to pass out from exhaustion. At my doctors appointment yesterday they were concerned that my blood pressure was elevated but after having me lie down for a few minutes and taking my blood pressure again they were able to get a slighly lower reading. So I'm wondering if perhaps I'm on the brink of having some sort of issue. I really don't feel right and can't recall ever having felt like this with the other pregnancies. I go for a non-stress test and an ultrasound to check the amniotic fluid level tomorrow.
Madeline's third marking period is behind us now and she's working her way towards the end. I have most of the lessons plans for the rest of the year finished. If we're able to keep everything on track even with a newborn in the house sometime in the next 2-5 weeks, she will be done before June.
Not knowing just when the baby will arrive makes me anxious. I really wish I knew when labor was going to happen. It would make things easier if I could just add it to the schedule. I'm hoping he makes his entrance sooner rather than later. Things are getting a bit cramped and uncomforable in my torso and I sure would appreciate the breathing room.
I still don't think Katie gets that we're going to have a baby in the house soon. We talk about the baby but it all seems to just go over her head. I'm really not sure how she's going to react when we bring her little brother home. She really loves babies so I'm hoping she will be happy to have a baby in the house but I'm bracing myself for what I suspect could be a difficult transistion for her.
I think this pretty much wraps up all the things I've had swirling around in my head that I haven't been able to blog about. I have pictures of Katie enjoying the nice spring weather we've had the past week or so and also pictures from the older girls' soccer games. I've gone to four soccer games in the past week! I'm trying to get to as many of their games as I can before the baby arrives since I don't know if I'll be at many or any for the rest of the season once the baby is here.
Friday, April 26, 2013
Finding Arrested Development in the Past
Lately Bryan's sister has been texting him different pictures from when they were kids. Most of these pictures are hilarious. There are pictures of Bryan wearing a blue leisure suit as a baby and lots of other equally funny pictures. To date, my favorite childhood pictures of Bryan are of him proudly sporting a white bunny suit for a school play. The bunny pictures are something that he wishes would go away. I have them safely hidden so that he won't burn the evidence.
This morning Bryan got another picture from his sister. This time it was Bryan as a toddler on a bike with his dad. Bryan showed it to me and says "Arrested Development." If you have ever watched the show then you might be familiar with the term "never nude."
Sunday, April 14, 2013
Life at Warp Speed
Ever have those days or weeks (months, even) that seem like they fly by at warp speed? That's sort of how my last two weeks have been. First it was a sick baby. Then it was a recovering baby and a husband on a business trip. And to add some spice the week on Tuesday it was ER visit number two in seven days time with another child. Since then I feel like the days are coming at me as fast as can be.
Katie is doing much better now. We're finished the round of explosive poo diaper antibiotics. If I tell you we had a crappy week I mean it in so many ways. Caring for a child who is ill is draining and pretty stressful. We had three days where we had to dropper feed Katie liquids because she refused to eat or drink. I am so grateful that we were able to avoid repeat trips to the ER to hydrate her. She would not have been happy to be hooked up to an IV again. She's still pointing at the bruise she has from the IV. If she spends too much time pondering it she'll hold out her hand and cry about it.
This past Friday Katie had her 18 month well visit with the pediatrician. She weighed in at 19lbs 10oz. I felt physically ill when I saw her weight on the scale. She weighs less now than she did nine months ago. The doctor reassured me that she will regain her appetite soon and her weight will go back up to where it should be. Her legs are still chubby, but her face is thinner and her torso seems to have lost a lot of it's chub. We can see her ribs and feel her spine now which bothers me so much. I feel like I have an emaciated baby, but I know that's not actually the case.
I suppose you're probably wondering about the second ER visit, right? On Tuesday we were having a great day. Katie was doing so well the previous few days that I decided that we'd actually leave the house and run a few errands. And the weather was gorgeous, too. So we went for a walk around the neighborhood, ran to the store to buy sandals for Katie and then headed home and went in the yard to enjoy being outside and have a snack. So as I'm having a great time with Katie and thinking how great it is that she's doing better and things are going well considering that Bryan is away and usually super stressful while he's gone and my cell phone starts ringing. The caller ID says it's Ellie's school. I answer the phone and it's the school nurse telling me that Ellie has had an accident on the playground and I need to come pick her up. She collided with a pole and another child and had two small lacerations on her face (12 days before her First Holy Communion). I am not one of those moms who handles emergencies well. With Bryan in Denver there was no chance of him coming home and handling this situation. So ten minutes before Katie's lunch (you know, my skinny child who lost 2 1/2 pounds the week before) I find myself en route to Ellie's school not knowing what I was going to do. I was contemplating whether I should cry or scream. Somehow I managed to do neither. I called Bryan and asked him to call the pediatrician and find out whether I needed to take her to them or the ER and then I started to think of what I needed to do with Katie.
Bryan had called back and said we needed to go to the ER. Not knowing how long we might be there I needed to make arrangements for someone to take Katie for me. I also needed to line up someone to pick Madeline up from band practice in case we weren't out of the ER by 4. A good friend of mine was able to take Katie for me and was also able to pick up Madeline if we weren't back in time. I cannot tell you how much of a relief it was to know I had two of my concerns covered. Thank God for awesome friends! I have plenty of them and feel so blessed to have them.
Once I got Ellie from the school I was happy to see that the cuts weren't huge and that they were nice and straight. It gave me a lot of hope that they could be glued together instead of needing stitches. Ellie was such a trooper. She was upset but she didn't cry and was so calm about it. After dropping Katie off at my friends we headed to the ER where I was certain we were going to sit for hours. Color me shocked when Ellie was brought into triage before I could even finishing texting Bryan that we were now in the ER and waiting. They were just as great this time around as they had been the week before. I think we waited about 45 minutes to an hour from the time we made it through triage until she was treated. They did a concussion test and then glued her back together with dermabond. That stuff is AWESOME! No stitches, no needles.
I was a bit surprised when they gave me discharge papers and I read the part about her having a mild head injury. True to form, I had no idea that the cuts on her face were the lesser concern. No one said anything about a head injury. Not the nurse, not triage and not the nurse practitioner that treated her. Bryan did ask if they checked her at the school for a concussion but it didn't register with me. If it had, I probably would have been freaking out the entire time. I tend not to pick up on the seriousness of medical ailments until after the fact. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not. So I wound up having to keep a close eye on Ellie for the first 24 hours. That included having to wake her up a couple of times in the middle of the night. Not an easy task when you're dealing with a child who sleeps as soundly as her daddy.
On Friday we brought Ellie in for a follow-up visit with the pediatrician. She's fine and shows no signs of a head injury so no more worries there. Now we just have to wait for the dermabond to flake off on it's own. It's starting to come off on the edges. I have no idea what it will look like on Saturday.
Thursday afternoon Bryan was back from Denver. Even though we had plenty of excitement while he was gone, I'm glad this trip wasn't too hard on us. Sometimes he goes away and everything seems to fall apart.
This weekend went pretty well. Bryan and the older girls got some yard work taken care of while I stayed in the house with Katie and cleaned the windows and cleaned the family room furniture. The house is getting to where it needs to be for Ellie's communion party this Saturday. Madeline's soccer game on Saturday got cancelled due to field conditions from Friday's heavy rain. That meant the girls and I were able to get to confession on Saturday afternoon. I was trying to figure out when we were going to have time to get there before Ellie's First Holy Communion next Saturday. Bryan had soccer duty over at the soccer complex today so he was gone most of the day. He and Madeline went over there to set things up early in the morning and then they came back so I could go teach my class. Once I came home he had to go back there until dinner time. Katie didn't sleep much last night so Bryan and I were both going on about 2 1/2 hours of sleep. I attribute this lack of sleep to a little snafu I had this morning over at CCD. I was telling the DRE about a concern I had in my classroom and wasn't paying attention to my surroundings. Add that to the list of things said without thinking. It's a long list in case you were wondering.
I'm also trying to make some diet changes after making an interesting discovery last weekend. I just downloaded a new NFP app from CCLI and spend a few hours last week putting all of my charts from the past year into the program. After looking over the charts in the program I noticed something that I hadn't picked up on with the paper charts. So after paging through Fertility, Cycles & Nutrition
I'm trying to make a few changes to see if it makes a difference. It's funny on some level because many of the things I'm cutting out are foods Bryan has been telling me to get rid of for years. Namely, my beloved sugary junk foods.
The week ahead looks like it will be every bit as busy as the last two weeks. I have a lot to do to get ready for Ellie's First Holy Communion. I'm so excited for her. She's looking forward to her big day. I'm praying that this week goes smoothly and doesn't have any surprises along the way. I'd like very much to say that we didn't visit the ER this week.
This past Friday Katie had her 18 month well visit with the pediatrician. She weighed in at 19lbs 10oz. I felt physically ill when I saw her weight on the scale. She weighs less now than she did nine months ago. The doctor reassured me that she will regain her appetite soon and her weight will go back up to where it should be. Her legs are still chubby, but her face is thinner and her torso seems to have lost a lot of it's chub. We can see her ribs and feel her spine now which bothers me so much. I feel like I have an emaciated baby, but I know that's not actually the case.
I suppose you're probably wondering about the second ER visit, right? On Tuesday we were having a great day. Katie was doing so well the previous few days that I decided that we'd actually leave the house and run a few errands. And the weather was gorgeous, too. So we went for a walk around the neighborhood, ran to the store to buy sandals for Katie and then headed home and went in the yard to enjoy being outside and have a snack. So as I'm having a great time with Katie and thinking how great it is that she's doing better and things are going well considering that Bryan is away and usually super stressful while he's gone and my cell phone starts ringing. The caller ID says it's Ellie's school. I answer the phone and it's the school nurse telling me that Ellie has had an accident on the playground and I need to come pick her up. She collided with a pole and another child and had two small lacerations on her face (12 days before her First Holy Communion). I am not one of those moms who handles emergencies well. With Bryan in Denver there was no chance of him coming home and handling this situation. So ten minutes before Katie's lunch (you know, my skinny child who lost 2 1/2 pounds the week before) I find myself en route to Ellie's school not knowing what I was going to do. I was contemplating whether I should cry or scream. Somehow I managed to do neither. I called Bryan and asked him to call the pediatrician and find out whether I needed to take her to them or the ER and then I started to think of what I needed to do with Katie.
Bryan had called back and said we needed to go to the ER. Not knowing how long we might be there I needed to make arrangements for someone to take Katie for me. I also needed to line up someone to pick Madeline up from band practice in case we weren't out of the ER by 4. A good friend of mine was able to take Katie for me and was also able to pick up Madeline if we weren't back in time. I cannot tell you how much of a relief it was to know I had two of my concerns covered. Thank God for awesome friends! I have plenty of them and feel so blessed to have them.
Once I got Ellie from the school I was happy to see that the cuts weren't huge and that they were nice and straight. It gave me a lot of hope that they could be glued together instead of needing stitches. Ellie was such a trooper. She was upset but she didn't cry and was so calm about it. After dropping Katie off at my friends we headed to the ER where I was certain we were going to sit for hours. Color me shocked when Ellie was brought into triage before I could even finishing texting Bryan that we were now in the ER and waiting. They were just as great this time around as they had been the week before. I think we waited about 45 minutes to an hour from the time we made it through triage until she was treated. They did a concussion test and then glued her back together with dermabond. That stuff is AWESOME! No stitches, no needles.
I was a bit surprised when they gave me discharge papers and I read the part about her having a mild head injury. True to form, I had no idea that the cuts on her face were the lesser concern. No one said anything about a head injury. Not the nurse, not triage and not the nurse practitioner that treated her. Bryan did ask if they checked her at the school for a concussion but it didn't register with me. If it had, I probably would have been freaking out the entire time. I tend not to pick up on the seriousness of medical ailments until after the fact. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not. So I wound up having to keep a close eye on Ellie for the first 24 hours. That included having to wake her up a couple of times in the middle of the night. Not an easy task when you're dealing with a child who sleeps as soundly as her daddy.
On Friday we brought Ellie in for a follow-up visit with the pediatrician. She's fine and shows no signs of a head injury so no more worries there. Now we just have to wait for the dermabond to flake off on it's own. It's starting to come off on the edges. I have no idea what it will look like on Saturday.
Thursday afternoon Bryan was back from Denver. Even though we had plenty of excitement while he was gone, I'm glad this trip wasn't too hard on us. Sometimes he goes away and everything seems to fall apart.
I'm also trying to make some diet changes after making an interesting discovery last weekend. I just downloaded a new NFP app from CCLI and spend a few hours last week putting all of my charts from the past year into the program. After looking over the charts in the program I noticed something that I hadn't picked up on with the paper charts. So after paging through Fertility, Cycles & Nutrition
I'm trying to make a few changes to see if it makes a difference. It's funny on some level because many of the things I'm cutting out are foods Bryan has been telling me to get rid of for years. Namely, my beloved sugary junk foods.The week ahead looks like it will be every bit as busy as the last two weeks. I have a lot to do to get ready for Ellie's First Holy Communion. I'm so excited for her. She's looking forward to her big day. I'm praying that this week goes smoothly and doesn't have any surprises along the way. I'd like very much to say that we didn't visit the ER this week.
Saturday, March 16, 2013
Making Progress
I've blogged in the past about our estrangement with Bryan's side of the family. It's been nearly two years since many of his family members last spoke with us. In that time I've been trying to get Bryan to extend an olive branch. He doesn't understand why I would want him to do this since he's quite happy with the current arrangement. I'm not, and have been pretty clear about it from the start. Family, for good or for ill, is still family.
When my grandmother on my Dad's side of the family passed away there was an estrangement between my aunt and the rest of her siblings. She essentially chose to withdrawal herself from the rest of the family. It's an estrangement that has lasted for over twenty years. So when I lost my beloved grandmother, I also lost my aunt who I liked to pester. When my uncle became ill a few years ago, the only way my father and aunt could get a message to her was through the police department since she wouldn't talk to them. My only contact with my aunt in twenty years has been Christmas cards signed only with her name and no other communication, and a few words exchanged with her in a cemetery at my uncle's burial. I was told she was at the church on my wedding day, but I didn't see her.
On my mom's side there is an estrangement with my uncle. And, I have aunts who don't speak to one another. The rift between my uncle and my mother and aunt was something that was of great concern to my grandmother as she was dying. She wanted them reconciled, and for a brief time, it was as she wished, but it was strained, almost artificial. The rift is still there, but it's not to the point of the estrangement on my dad's side.
So the estrangement with my husband's family bothers me. Estrangements are the results of stubborn people holding onto grudges that do nothing but fester. It appears that in the case of Bryan and his family, they [he and his mother, specifically] have reached an impasse. What likely could have been settled if both parties had agreed to sit down and talk has turned into what may very well be an irreparable rift.
On our side, the door is open. We would certainly welcome any of these family members into our home if ever they should show up at our door. As a parent, I cannot understand how one could sit back and not make any attempts to reconcile with their son, especially when grandchildren, the only grandchildren, are involved. It seems a pity to miss out on their childhood. Katie is seventeen months old today. Her days of being a baby have passed and already she's a toddler. They've already missed so much. I couldn't imagine being a grandparent and not being part of my grandchildren's memories.
I've mentioned to Bryan several times that we need to come up with a guest list for Ellie's First Holy Communion luncheon. Usually when I suggest sending an invitation to his family I am promptly shut down, but today I managed to convince him to extend an invitation. While we have been of the opinion that the ball is in their court so to speak with regards to them wanting or not wanting to be a part of our lives, I was able to express myself well enough to convince Bryan that extending an invitation to them would serve as a reminder that the choice to be involved or not to be involved is in their hands. We can't force anyone to come to us, but we can certainly extend an invitation. At any rate, the fact that Bryan has agreed to inviting his family feels like progress.
The interesting parallel that I have taken from this situation is that an estrangement like this is a lot like when you choose to separate yourself from God through sin, particularly a mortal sin. God doesn't distance Himself from you, rather you distance yourself from Him. In essence, you choose to sever the relationship. That's how this estrangement feels to us. We didn't choose to separate from his side of the family, rather, they chose to distance themselves from us.
When my grandmother on my Dad's side of the family passed away there was an estrangement between my aunt and the rest of her siblings. She essentially chose to withdrawal herself from the rest of the family. It's an estrangement that has lasted for over twenty years. So when I lost my beloved grandmother, I also lost my aunt who I liked to pester. When my uncle became ill a few years ago, the only way my father and aunt could get a message to her was through the police department since she wouldn't talk to them. My only contact with my aunt in twenty years has been Christmas cards signed only with her name and no other communication, and a few words exchanged with her in a cemetery at my uncle's burial. I was told she was at the church on my wedding day, but I didn't see her.
On my mom's side there is an estrangement with my uncle. And, I have aunts who don't speak to one another. The rift between my uncle and my mother and aunt was something that was of great concern to my grandmother as she was dying. She wanted them reconciled, and for a brief time, it was as she wished, but it was strained, almost artificial. The rift is still there, but it's not to the point of the estrangement on my dad's side.
So the estrangement with my husband's family bothers me. Estrangements are the results of stubborn people holding onto grudges that do nothing but fester. It appears that in the case of Bryan and his family, they [he and his mother, specifically] have reached an impasse. What likely could have been settled if both parties had agreed to sit down and talk has turned into what may very well be an irreparable rift.
On our side, the door is open. We would certainly welcome any of these family members into our home if ever they should show up at our door. As a parent, I cannot understand how one could sit back and not make any attempts to reconcile with their son, especially when grandchildren, the only grandchildren, are involved. It seems a pity to miss out on their childhood. Katie is seventeen months old today. Her days of being a baby have passed and already she's a toddler. They've already missed so much. I couldn't imagine being a grandparent and not being part of my grandchildren's memories.
I've mentioned to Bryan several times that we need to come up with a guest list for Ellie's First Holy Communion luncheon. Usually when I suggest sending an invitation to his family I am promptly shut down, but today I managed to convince him to extend an invitation. While we have been of the opinion that the ball is in their court so to speak with regards to them wanting or not wanting to be a part of our lives, I was able to express myself well enough to convince Bryan that extending an invitation to them would serve as a reminder that the choice to be involved or not to be involved is in their hands. We can't force anyone to come to us, but we can certainly extend an invitation. At any rate, the fact that Bryan has agreed to inviting his family feels like progress.
The interesting parallel that I have taken from this situation is that an estrangement like this is a lot like when you choose to separate yourself from God through sin, particularly a mortal sin. God doesn't distance Himself from you, rather you distance yourself from Him. In essence, you choose to sever the relationship. That's how this estrangement feels to us. We didn't choose to separate from his side of the family, rather, they chose to distance themselves from us.
Monday, June 18, 2012
Where I Am
I know I've been blogging a couple times a week, but for the most part I just feel like I'm never able to blog. It's not that I have nothing to say, but rather I simply haven't been able to find the time lately.
Katie is crawling and that means she's into just about everything. Put her down in one room and she's likely to end up twenty feet away in another room. I feel like I'm spending a lot of time making sure that Madeline and Ellie haven't left any small toys or random objects on the floor. Most of the time my paranoia is well founded since I'm always finding coins, legos and other miscellaneous things all over the place. Now that the girls are home for the summer I need to do random floor searches more often.
Katie turned eight months old on Saturday. I am determined to blog about it with some pictures of her sometime in the next day or so.
Saturday night Bryan and I attended a wedding in the historic section of Philadelphia. The wedding took place in the courtyard area of Betsy Ross' house. It was a beautiful wedding, and the reception was held in a really swanky place just next door. We had a good time, but couldn't stay very late since I pretty much only had so long that I could stay before the top of my dress would likely no longer fit. Gotta love being a nursing mom!
Saturday was the first night I wasn't home to put Katie to bed. I'm usually ok with being away from her for a couple of hours here and there if I'm doing something, like teaching a class, or going to a meeting, but I spent a lot of time worrying about her. We were gone for about seven hours. I'm not sure I've ever been away from any of the girls for that long at that age.
School is out for Madeline and Ellie. So far summer vacation is going well. The girls are beginning to adjust to Katie's napping schedule. During her naps I'm asking them to either play quietly, read, clean up any random messes they've made, or go outside to play.
Ellie mastered riding her bike about a week and a half ago. Since then, she has been riding all over the neighborhood with Bryan and Madeline. On Father's Day she rode over five miles and wanted to go further! Bryan is pretty confident that she will be in amazing shape for soccer by the end of the summer.
Madeline seems to be enjoying the Harry Potter books. She finally made it through the first book and passed Bryan's line of questioning about the plot. This morning she decided to pick up the second book and has already made significant progress through it. Her synopsis of the book, thus far, indicates that she's actually paying attention to what she's reading and that she certainly is getting into the book.
I hope as the week progresses that I'll find some time to blog and post pictures. I have oodles of pictures that I want to share.
Katie is crawling and that means she's into just about everything. Put her down in one room and she's likely to end up twenty feet away in another room. I feel like I'm spending a lot of time making sure that Madeline and Ellie haven't left any small toys or random objects on the floor. Most of the time my paranoia is well founded since I'm always finding coins, legos and other miscellaneous things all over the place. Now that the girls are home for the summer I need to do random floor searches more often.
Katie turned eight months old on Saturday. I am determined to blog about it with some pictures of her sometime in the next day or so.
Saturday night Bryan and I attended a wedding in the historic section of Philadelphia. The wedding took place in the courtyard area of Betsy Ross' house. It was a beautiful wedding, and the reception was held in a really swanky place just next door. We had a good time, but couldn't stay very late since I pretty much only had so long that I could stay before the top of my dress would likely no longer fit. Gotta love being a nursing mom!
Saturday was the first night I wasn't home to put Katie to bed. I'm usually ok with being away from her for a couple of hours here and there if I'm doing something, like teaching a class, or going to a meeting, but I spent a lot of time worrying about her. We were gone for about seven hours. I'm not sure I've ever been away from any of the girls for that long at that age.
School is out for Madeline and Ellie. So far summer vacation is going well. The girls are beginning to adjust to Katie's napping schedule. During her naps I'm asking them to either play quietly, read, clean up any random messes they've made, or go outside to play.
Ellie mastered riding her bike about a week and a half ago. Since then, she has been riding all over the neighborhood with Bryan and Madeline. On Father's Day she rode over five miles and wanted to go further! Bryan is pretty confident that she will be in amazing shape for soccer by the end of the summer.
Madeline seems to be enjoying the Harry Potter books. She finally made it through the first book and passed Bryan's line of questioning about the plot. This morning she decided to pick up the second book and has already made significant progress through it. Her synopsis of the book, thus far, indicates that she's actually paying attention to what she's reading and that she certainly is getting into the book.
I hope as the week progresses that I'll find some time to blog and post pictures. I have oodles of pictures that I want to share.
Monday, April 9, 2012
And the Chaos Commences
First off, Happy Easter! I've been wanting for the past week to blog but simply haven't found much spare time. First I wanted to blog about Holy Week and then I wanted to blog about Easter, but it seems like sometimes the days slip by at a rapid pace and blog posts that were meant to be never materialize. If life clams down a bit over the next few days I hope to share some pictures from Easter.
Fast on the heels of Easter Sunday was Bryan's departure for Tennessee. By 6am this morning he was already on his way to catch a plane. This left me with the girls' last day of their incredibly short Spring break and a dentist appointment for three of us to get our teeth cleaned. I managed to get us all ready and out the door by 8:30 this morning so we could make it to our 10am appointment. I'm seriously beginning to wonder if I'm not just a little crazy for insisting on seeing the dentist I've seen since I was a child. The drive from our house to Stone Harbor takes close to an hour and fifteen minutes. Typically our back to back appointments take less time than the travel in one direction. When it's nice and warm out I can justify this long travel time by taking the kids to the zoo right after we're done, but today it was chilly and windy so we didn't stop. And truthfully, after spending Wednesday through Saturday at church each day I was exhausted. I'm convinced the Triduum is nothing short of a spiritual marathon.
So after our dentist appointment I headed home knowing thatMadeline, what am I saying? She wasn't about to do any of the work. I needed to complete a science extra credit project so Madeline could boost her grade in social studies. That meant a trip to the craft store to buy clay [I'm amazed that we didn't have any.] and duct tape [Ah, duct tape, how I wish I had forgotten to buy you today!]. The project was quickly completed by me once we got home. If I never have to do another Science in a bottle
experiment again it will be too soon. Two of these pain in the rear experiments in three weeks. Of course, I should learn to keep my mouth shut when I see a failing test grade and just let Madeline deal with the consequences. So I guess I brought this upon myself in a way.
While Katie napped, I sat down to take a break and do some reading. I just started reading St. Therese's Story of a Soul last night and I wanted to read more. After reading for a bit I felt incredibly tired and decided to take a nap while Katie was still sleeping. I must have passed out on the couch for an hour and a half or more. Unfortunately, I realized when I woke up that I must have turned off the monitor one of the times I went to calm Katie when she had just gone down for her nap. The poor girl was up there crying and I have no idea for how long since the girls were playing quietly [amazing, right?] in the basement while I napped. Once I got Katie, the real fun for the day began to ensue.
Madeline fancies herself an adult despite numerous reminders from myself and Bryan that she is a child. A ten year old child. One, who I should add, does not always exhibit the greatest judgment. So Madeline, in her infinite wisdom or lack thereof, took it upon herself to prove to her six year old sister that Bloody Mary is real. How did she prove this? Well, she didn't do it the traditional way of going into a dark bathroom, looking in the mirror and calling out the name three times. No, that would be too easy and would prove that it was nothing more than some made up thing to scare little kids. Instead, Madeline without permission hopped on the great google machine and pulled up a You Tube video. In doing this, she managed to scare herself and frighten her little sister to the core. I doubt I have to tell you how unwelcome this news was to me as two little girls sat in the family room looking pale and asking odd questions about whether or not Bloody Mary was real. When I dispelled it as made up, I was then told about the video they watched while I was getting the baby from her nap. By bedtime I had an incredibly guilty ten year old (more on that coming up) and a terrified six year old. I'm praying that Ellie has fallen asleep by now.
As if the Bloody Mary incident wasn't enough to make this week difficult enough, Madeline decided to add a little blood to the mix. Remember that duct tape I brought? No, I didn't use it on the kids if that's what you're thinking. Madeline, who has been pestering me for nearly a year to buy her duct tape, decided to make a wallet with it after having been specifically being told earlier in the day that she was not making anything with it. In an effort to cultivate some patience, I sat and watched her make the "wallet" and restrained myself from making any comments about the fact that I told her she wasn't allowed to play with the duct tape, or that she was once again deliberately disobeying me, or that I didn't want duct tape on my sofa. Bryan called just as she finished and I was telling him about the wallet she made. It was then that I noticed that my scissors were covered in adhesive, which I suspected would happen when she initially told me of all the amazing things she was going to make with duct tape. Someone offered to clean them off, but knowing that she would likely slice open her fingers, I expressly told her that she was not to touch them. Bryan even heard me say it. Anyone want to guess what happened next?
So while I was still talking with Bryan, mind you the conversation is about 45 seconds along at this point, I sat down to nurse the hungry baby and that's when the screaming and crying began. If you guessed that my ten year old sliced open her thumb then you get to give yourself a pat on the back. Go ahead, you deserve it. While the cut is about 1 1/2 inches long and a bit deep, it wasn't bleeding a lot and it doesn't look like it would have needed any stitches. It was just the excitement that we didn't need this week.
I didn't handle the situation well at all. Between my total annoyance at her disregarding what I had just told her and the stress of another one of Bryan's business trips, I snapped. Calm, compassionate and caring are not words that would have been used to describe me. I believe at one point Bryan had to tell me several times over the speakerphone to stop being spiteful and just get her cut cleaned and bandaged. I feel like tonight was a test and I was found wanting.
In my best Scarlett O'Hara impression [which is pitifully bad given that I'm not a southern gal] I just have to tell myself that "Tomorrow is another day." And so, I'll just pick myself up and try again tomorrow.
Lord, give me patience, but please, I beg you, don't give me any situations where I'll have to use it. Or, let's just save both You and me some frustration and just give me obedient children for which I will be eternally grateful. Does that work?
Fast on the heels of Easter Sunday was Bryan's departure for Tennessee. By 6am this morning he was already on his way to catch a plane. This left me with the girls' last day of their incredibly short Spring break and a dentist appointment for three of us to get our teeth cleaned. I managed to get us all ready and out the door by 8:30 this morning so we could make it to our 10am appointment. I'm seriously beginning to wonder if I'm not just a little crazy for insisting on seeing the dentist I've seen since I was a child. The drive from our house to Stone Harbor takes close to an hour and fifteen minutes. Typically our back to back appointments take less time than the travel in one direction. When it's nice and warm out I can justify this long travel time by taking the kids to the zoo right after we're done, but today it was chilly and windy so we didn't stop. And truthfully, after spending Wednesday through Saturday at church each day I was exhausted. I'm convinced the Triduum is nothing short of a spiritual marathon.
So after our dentist appointment I headed home knowing that
experiment again it will be too soon. Two of these pain in the rear experiments in three weeks. Of course, I should learn to keep my mouth shut when I see a failing test grade and just let Madeline deal with the consequences. So I guess I brought this upon myself in a way.While Katie napped, I sat down to take a break and do some reading. I just started reading St. Therese's Story of a Soul last night and I wanted to read more. After reading for a bit I felt incredibly tired and decided to take a nap while Katie was still sleeping. I must have passed out on the couch for an hour and a half or more. Unfortunately, I realized when I woke up that I must have turned off the monitor one of the times I went to calm Katie when she had just gone down for her nap. The poor girl was up there crying and I have no idea for how long since the girls were playing quietly [amazing, right?] in the basement while I napped. Once I got Katie, the real fun for the day began to ensue.
Madeline fancies herself an adult despite numerous reminders from myself and Bryan that she is a child. A ten year old child. One, who I should add, does not always exhibit the greatest judgment. So Madeline, in her infinite wisdom or lack thereof, took it upon herself to prove to her six year old sister that Bloody Mary is real. How did she prove this? Well, she didn't do it the traditional way of going into a dark bathroom, looking in the mirror and calling out the name three times. No, that would be too easy and would prove that it was nothing more than some made up thing to scare little kids. Instead, Madeline without permission hopped on the great google machine and pulled up a You Tube video. In doing this, she managed to scare herself and frighten her little sister to the core. I doubt I have to tell you how unwelcome this news was to me as two little girls sat in the family room looking pale and asking odd questions about whether or not Bloody Mary was real. When I dispelled it as made up, I was then told about the video they watched while I was getting the baby from her nap. By bedtime I had an incredibly guilty ten year old (more on that coming up) and a terrified six year old. I'm praying that Ellie has fallen asleep by now.
As if the Bloody Mary incident wasn't enough to make this week difficult enough, Madeline decided to add a little blood to the mix. Remember that duct tape I brought? No, I didn't use it on the kids if that's what you're thinking. Madeline, who has been pestering me for nearly a year to buy her duct tape, decided to make a wallet with it after having been specifically being told earlier in the day that she was not making anything with it. In an effort to cultivate some patience, I sat and watched her make the "wallet" and restrained myself from making any comments about the fact that I told her she wasn't allowed to play with the duct tape, or that she was once again deliberately disobeying me, or that I didn't want duct tape on my sofa. Bryan called just as she finished and I was telling him about the wallet she made. It was then that I noticed that my scissors were covered in adhesive, which I suspected would happen when she initially told me of all the amazing things she was going to make with duct tape. Someone offered to clean them off, but knowing that she would likely slice open her fingers, I expressly told her that she was not to touch them. Bryan even heard me say it. Anyone want to guess what happened next?
So while I was still talking with Bryan, mind you the conversation is about 45 seconds along at this point, I sat down to nurse the hungry baby and that's when the screaming and crying began. If you guessed that my ten year old sliced open her thumb then you get to give yourself a pat on the back. Go ahead, you deserve it. While the cut is about 1 1/2 inches long and a bit deep, it wasn't bleeding a lot and it doesn't look like it would have needed any stitches. It was just the excitement that we didn't need this week.
I didn't handle the situation well at all. Between my total annoyance at her disregarding what I had just told her and the stress of another one of Bryan's business trips, I snapped. Calm, compassionate and caring are not words that would have been used to describe me. I believe at one point Bryan had to tell me several times over the speakerphone to stop being spiteful and just get her cut cleaned and bandaged. I feel like tonight was a test and I was found wanting.
In my best Scarlett O'Hara impression [which is pitifully bad given that I'm not a southern gal] I just have to tell myself that "Tomorrow is another day." And so, I'll just pick myself up and try again tomorrow.
Lord, give me patience, but please, I beg you, don't give me any situations where I'll have to use it. Or, let's just save both You and me some frustration and just give me obedient children for which I will be eternally grateful. Does that work?
Friday, October 21, 2011
Introducing Katherine Therese
Because the baby arrived before visiting hours at the hospital were over the girls and my parents got to come and meet her a little less than an hour after she was born.
Bryan, despite the total lack of pictures proving that he was actually at the hospital, was there the entire time. This blurry picture of him handing Katie to Madeline is the only picture we have of him and the baby at the hospital. I have no idea how we didn't get a picture of him and the baby or of the three of us. We're chalking it up to the fact that my labor went very fast and we just didn't think of these things. I was actually beginning to push when I had to ask him to grab the video camera and the other camera so we'd have pictures.
In a few more days I hope to blog a bit more about Katie's birth and first week. Things are going very well with the baby. She already has us wrapped around her finger and seems quite content with all of us doting on her.
Monday, June 27, 2011
Another In-Law Vent
I feel like my blog lately has been all about me complaining about my in-laws and random book reviews. It seems that my in-laws have quite the penchant for doing their best to upset me when I'm pregnant. What's not to love about people like that?
A few weeks ago Bryan emailed his mother with what could essentially be described as a list of grievances. This was all in response to her claim that I not only defamed her character in front of his children, her grandchildren [because me being the mother of those children is of no issue] to her co-worker, but have also done a great deal to drive a wedge in the family. Keep in mind that I am not part of this "family" a point which has been made abundantly clear by my in-laws many times over the past ten and a half years.
All I did to start this firestorm was to accidentally reveal the gender of the baby to a woman who knew who I was and looked very familiar to me. Almost instantly I realized the woman was my mother-in-law's coworker. It was at the moment that I asked her not to reveal the gender of the baby to my in-laws as my husband did not want them to know yet since they have little to no involvement or interest in our children. That statement is absolutely true and both my husband and I stand by it 100%.
Bryan's email triggered my mother-in-law to run to his brother and sister. Rather than dialogue with Bryan via email, she decided to go on a smear campaign. She unfriended me and Bryan on Facebook as well as a few of our friends. She sent messages to those friends stating that we told her she could not be friends with them [NOT TRUE] and that we are embarrassed by her [Bryan told her he was embarrassed by her immature comments on Facebook, not that he was embarrassed by her, there is a difference.]. My best friend was kind enough to let me know about my mother-in-law's message. She agreed that the message from her seemed to have the intent to twist Bryan's words to make her look like a victim.
Since the email from Bryan my mother-in-law has left a few hostile and condescending voicemails on Bryan's phone. She has also left a few messages on our home phone line. Bryan does not want me getting involved, so I have the displeasure of sitting by and being a spectator as I hear remark after remark coming from the in-laws blaming me for all sorts of things. Quite honestly, it's stressing me out and making me less and less willing to have anything to do with these people in the future.
My sister-in-law recently decided to throw her hat in the ring. After several hostile text messages and voice mails to Bryan's cell, she decided to send an email. This email led to another bout of blame Karen for everything under the sun. The back and forth emails between Bryan and his sister reached a new point in accusations today. This morning Bryan forwarded me an email that started off "Dear Karen, oops, I mean Bryan," which insinuated that I am the one who has been authoring all the emails that are coming from my husband. She went on in the email to state that I am excrement, but not in terms quite as nice as that. I so badly want to respond, but frustratingly, Bryan does not want me to say a word. So, I'll say some of what I want to say here.
First off, if I were the one writing the emails, there would be no spelling, syntax, or grammatical errors. Turn of phrase and choice of vocabulary would be much different. My tactic would not be as calm as my husbands. I would lay out, in detail, the many things my in-laws have done of the years which back up why Bryan and I have come to a point in our lives where we do not want to deal with their childish and petty behavior. I would also point out the inaccuracies in their convoluted memories of past incidents. I have been accused of calling my sister-in-law a murderer and spreading a rumor stating such. Not true, I did however not hide the fact that her grabbing my abdomen and twisting it very hard when I was in my first trimester with Madeline was what lead to me having severe cramping followed by lots of bleeding and subsequently two months of bed rest due to what the midwife termed a "threatened abortion." So she didn't murder her first born niece in utero, but she made pregnancy very difficult for me for two months. If someone called her a murderer, it was not me. My midwife actually wanted me to press charges against her for assault. In hindsight, I probably should have.
My sister-in-law, the super sleuth, spent her weekend at the shore questioning her parents about their involvement with our girls. She started by interviewing my mother-in-law on the beach. She found out just how many times she has seen the girls and talked to them in the past year. She also asked about what kinds of gifts the girls have received from her. Then she asked my father-in-law and his girlfriend what their involvement with the girls has been, phone conversations and the all important gifts. Her determination is that my mother-in-law is the one who tries harder but is not rewarded. So apparently being a grandparent is all about gifts. Personally, I'd take the grandparents who spend quality time with the kids over the one who occasionally drops presents off on the porch and runs away before anyone knows she's there. Presents don't matter to me. The rest of the world could stop buying gifts for my children and we wouldn't be the least bit bothered. In fact, we'd probably be really happy to see a decrease in the quantity of stuff that gets imported into the house.
My sister-in-law also made sure she let us know that both of her parents are "really great grandparents." Ok, sure. Bryan and I tend to disagree. Great grandparents will call and talk to the kids. They will take the time to build memories with them and spend time with them. They take an interest in the kids and don't act as if they are a burden. While my father-in-law isn't an incredibly involved grandparent, he is genuinely happy to be a grandfather. The man is literally giddy that he has another grandchild on the way. I'd classify my parents as great grandparents. They do what they can to be at events that are important to the kids, like soccer games and chorus concerts. They actually know their granddaughters. And like my father-in-law, they have never made statements that they "didn't choose to have these kids" [my children].
Over the years as these in-law incidents have arisen, my parents have been the ones I complain to first [after Bryan, that is]. About five years ago my parents told me point blank that it was pretty obvious that they [my in-laws] don't like me. I knew there were some who didn't like me much or at least that was the vibe I got, but it really struck me when I came to the realization that other people saw it, too. I tend to think that my parents [my father, actually] hit the nail on the head. Bryan agrees with them. The in-laws, claim that I am delusional and apparently Bryan is now also delusional by extension.
We have been informed that the situation with my mother-in-law is entirely our fault. Our busy schedule was cited as part of the problem. After working a full time job and commuting 1 1/2 hours each way to work three to four days a week in traffic (Bryan works from home one to two days a week), Bryan is usually very tired and worn out. He also volunteers his time coaching both of our girls for soccer. Weekends from September through May are typically consumed by soccer games. In addition to keeping the household running [because you know, I do nothing because I'm a stay-at-home-mom] I also volunteer my time to help out at the girls' schools. The time commitment for this work varies. It could be an hour one week and six or seven another week. Then I selfishly tie up Sunday morning and teach a religious education class in addition to teaching on Thursday evening. I also volunteered to direct the parish VBS program. Add in the fact that I also selfishly use up about ninety minutes of our precious weekend and take my children to Mass every Saturday night or Sunday morning without fail. I wonder what my in-laws think we should be cut from our busy schedule. Should we yank our kids out of soccer which they enjoy so they can sit at their grandmother's house totally bored and miserable? Or, would it be better if we just abandon our faith and sink into a state of mortal sin to please a few people? Sometimes it's not possible to please everyone. I believe this is the situation we have on hand. My in-laws can't be bothered to come to our home. Soccer games tend to happen at the same time as wine festivals, and attending Mass is non-negotiable.
Oh and since I'm essentially vilified by my in-laws, let me put it out there that in nearly ten years of parenting, I have been the one to make the effort to make sure my children know both sides of their family. For Madeline's first two years of life, I was the one who drove up to Philadelphia a couple times a week to bring her to visit Bryan's homebound grandfather and his cousin who took care of him. I visited his grandmother (also homebound) many times. Madeline and I saw Bryan's grandparents more than he did during those years. During these years, I could have visited my widowed Grandfather instead, but I chose to visit his family believing that he [my grandfather] would live longer than them. Turns out I was right in one case and wrong in the other. There are times I wish I had visited him a few times more in those years, but I reasoned that he had more great grandchildren visiting him and since Madeline was the only great granddaughter for Bryan's Pop and one of a small handful for his grandmom, that I made the right choice. I also have been the one to bring the girls to visit my father-in-law. Over the past eleven years I have probably seen my father-in-law more than my husband has. I'm the one who brought the girls to visit my mother-in-law at her office, too. How soon some people forget all the effort I have made to ensure my children know their family. With two kids in school and one on the way along with all the obligations we have on any given week, it's a lot to shoulder. I can't be everything to everyone, and I'm not about to try especially when it's not recognized or appreciated.
If you've read this far, thanks. I hope I haven't wasted too much of your time. If I'm the evil incarnate my in-laws make me out to be feel free to say so in the comments.
A few weeks ago Bryan emailed his mother with what could essentially be described as a list of grievances. This was all in response to her claim that I not only defamed her character in front of his children, her grandchildren [because me being the mother of those children is of no issue] to her co-worker, but have also done a great deal to drive a wedge in the family. Keep in mind that I am not part of this "family" a point which has been made abundantly clear by my in-laws many times over the past ten and a half years.
All I did to start this firestorm was to accidentally reveal the gender of the baby to a woman who knew who I was and looked very familiar to me. Almost instantly I realized the woman was my mother-in-law's coworker. It was at the moment that I asked her not to reveal the gender of the baby to my in-laws as my husband did not want them to know yet since they have little to no involvement or interest in our children. That statement is absolutely true and both my husband and I stand by it 100%.
Bryan's email triggered my mother-in-law to run to his brother and sister. Rather than dialogue with Bryan via email, she decided to go on a smear campaign. She unfriended me and Bryan on Facebook as well as a few of our friends. She sent messages to those friends stating that we told her she could not be friends with them [NOT TRUE] and that we are embarrassed by her [Bryan told her he was embarrassed by her immature comments on Facebook, not that he was embarrassed by her, there is a difference.]. My best friend was kind enough to let me know about my mother-in-law's message. She agreed that the message from her seemed to have the intent to twist Bryan's words to make her look like a victim.
Since the email from Bryan my mother-in-law has left a few hostile and condescending voicemails on Bryan's phone. She has also left a few messages on our home phone line. Bryan does not want me getting involved, so I have the displeasure of sitting by and being a spectator as I hear remark after remark coming from the in-laws blaming me for all sorts of things. Quite honestly, it's stressing me out and making me less and less willing to have anything to do with these people in the future.
My sister-in-law recently decided to throw her hat in the ring. After several hostile text messages and voice mails to Bryan's cell, she decided to send an email. This email led to another bout of blame Karen for everything under the sun. The back and forth emails between Bryan and his sister reached a new point in accusations today. This morning Bryan forwarded me an email that started off "Dear Karen, oops, I mean Bryan," which insinuated that I am the one who has been authoring all the emails that are coming from my husband. She went on in the email to state that I am excrement, but not in terms quite as nice as that. I so badly want to respond, but frustratingly, Bryan does not want me to say a word. So, I'll say some of what I want to say here.
First off, if I were the one writing the emails, there would be no spelling, syntax, or grammatical errors. Turn of phrase and choice of vocabulary would be much different. My tactic would not be as calm as my husbands. I would lay out, in detail, the many things my in-laws have done of the years which back up why Bryan and I have come to a point in our lives where we do not want to deal with their childish and petty behavior. I would also point out the inaccuracies in their convoluted memories of past incidents. I have been accused of calling my sister-in-law a murderer and spreading a rumor stating such. Not true, I did however not hide the fact that her grabbing my abdomen and twisting it very hard when I was in my first trimester with Madeline was what lead to me having severe cramping followed by lots of bleeding and subsequently two months of bed rest due to what the midwife termed a "threatened abortion." So she didn't murder her first born niece in utero, but she made pregnancy very difficult for me for two months. If someone called her a murderer, it was not me. My midwife actually wanted me to press charges against her for assault. In hindsight, I probably should have.
My sister-in-law, the super sleuth, spent her weekend at the shore questioning her parents about their involvement with our girls. She started by interviewing my mother-in-law on the beach. She found out just how many times she has seen the girls and talked to them in the past year. She also asked about what kinds of gifts the girls have received from her. Then she asked my father-in-law and his girlfriend what their involvement with the girls has been, phone conversations and the all important gifts. Her determination is that my mother-in-law is the one who tries harder but is not rewarded. So apparently being a grandparent is all about gifts. Personally, I'd take the grandparents who spend quality time with the kids over the one who occasionally drops presents off on the porch and runs away before anyone knows she's there. Presents don't matter to me. The rest of the world could stop buying gifts for my children and we wouldn't be the least bit bothered. In fact, we'd probably be really happy to see a decrease in the quantity of stuff that gets imported into the house.
My sister-in-law also made sure she let us know that both of her parents are "really great grandparents." Ok, sure. Bryan and I tend to disagree. Great grandparents will call and talk to the kids. They will take the time to build memories with them and spend time with them. They take an interest in the kids and don't act as if they are a burden. While my father-in-law isn't an incredibly involved grandparent, he is genuinely happy to be a grandfather. The man is literally giddy that he has another grandchild on the way. I'd classify my parents as great grandparents. They do what they can to be at events that are important to the kids, like soccer games and chorus concerts. They actually know their granddaughters. And like my father-in-law, they have never made statements that they "didn't choose to have these kids" [my children].
Over the years as these in-law incidents have arisen, my parents have been the ones I complain to first [after Bryan, that is]. About five years ago my parents told me point blank that it was pretty obvious that they [my in-laws] don't like me. I knew there were some who didn't like me much or at least that was the vibe I got, but it really struck me when I came to the realization that other people saw it, too. I tend to think that my parents [my father, actually] hit the nail on the head. Bryan agrees with them. The in-laws, claim that I am delusional and apparently Bryan is now also delusional by extension.
We have been informed that the situation with my mother-in-law is entirely our fault. Our busy schedule was cited as part of the problem. After working a full time job and commuting 1 1/2 hours each way to work three to four days a week in traffic (Bryan works from home one to two days a week), Bryan is usually very tired and worn out. He also volunteers his time coaching both of our girls for soccer. Weekends from September through May are typically consumed by soccer games. In addition to keeping the household running [because you know, I do nothing because I'm a stay-at-home-mom] I also volunteer my time to help out at the girls' schools. The time commitment for this work varies. It could be an hour one week and six or seven another week. Then I selfishly tie up Sunday morning and teach a religious education class in addition to teaching on Thursday evening. I also volunteered to direct the parish VBS program. Add in the fact that I also selfishly use up about ninety minutes of our precious weekend and take my children to Mass every Saturday night or Sunday morning without fail. I wonder what my in-laws think we should be cut from our busy schedule. Should we yank our kids out of soccer which they enjoy so they can sit at their grandmother's house totally bored and miserable? Or, would it be better if we just abandon our faith and sink into a state of mortal sin to please a few people? Sometimes it's not possible to please everyone. I believe this is the situation we have on hand. My in-laws can't be bothered to come to our home. Soccer games tend to happen at the same time as wine festivals, and attending Mass is non-negotiable.
Oh and since I'm essentially vilified by my in-laws, let me put it out there that in nearly ten years of parenting, I have been the one to make the effort to make sure my children know both sides of their family. For Madeline's first two years of life, I was the one who drove up to Philadelphia a couple times a week to bring her to visit Bryan's homebound grandfather and his cousin who took care of him. I visited his grandmother (also homebound) many times. Madeline and I saw Bryan's grandparents more than he did during those years. During these years, I could have visited my widowed Grandfather instead, but I chose to visit his family believing that he [my grandfather] would live longer than them. Turns out I was right in one case and wrong in the other. There are times I wish I had visited him a few times more in those years, but I reasoned that he had more great grandchildren visiting him and since Madeline was the only great granddaughter for Bryan's Pop and one of a small handful for his grandmom, that I made the right choice. I also have been the one to bring the girls to visit my father-in-law. Over the past eleven years I have probably seen my father-in-law more than my husband has. I'm the one who brought the girls to visit my mother-in-law at her office, too. How soon some people forget all the effort I have made to ensure my children know their family. With two kids in school and one on the way along with all the obligations we have on any given week, it's a lot to shoulder. I can't be everything to everyone, and I'm not about to try especially when it's not recognized or appreciated.
If you've read this far, thanks. I hope I haven't wasted too much of your time. If I'm the evil incarnate my in-laws make me out to be feel free to say so in the comments.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Defamation of Character
Alternate title for this post: Why I Really Need to Get Better at Figuring Out Who People Are Before I Speak
Since late Friday night, life around here has been drama filled. Actually, that's an understatement. Life has been bubbling over with drama and it's oozing all over the place. I don't go looking for drama, it just comes and finds me.
Friday night is when we found out that Madeline's soccer coach didn't get the travel soccer team. Instead, the board decided to take a vote on a night when two of the supporters for our coach of choice were unable to make the meeting. The result: our coach lost the board's vote by one when he would have won it by one vote had our supporters been there. The weekend ended up being filled to the brim with soccer drama. On Saturday night, things were starting to clam down a bit. It was then that we found out that Madeline made the travel team and our coaching staff (Bryan, Coach R and Coach D) began to discuss the possibility of our girls playing for this coach in order to give them the opportunity to play more challenging teams. That in turn spilled over into Sunday and still the drama is bubbling over even today. Feelings and emotions on the part of the one coach are very raw at the moment. Every time we think we've reached a point where we can just have peace, texts, emails or phone calls start.
As if the soccer drama wasn't enough, in-law drama has peaked. FUN! On Monday I very innocently visited the religious education office at our parish to drop off some VBS registration checks that I had recently received, to pick up a few more registrations that had come to the parish office and to chat with the deacon and his assistant. I had Ellie with me and she had a good time visiting with meuntil she decided that it was time to go NOW!. On our way out of the office, while I was still talking with the deacon about VBS things, I ran into yet another person congratulating me on my pregnancy.
Ordinarily, someone congratulating me on this joyous event doesn't cause any problems. This time was different. I recognized the person right away, but I couldn't place her. Name: blank, How I know her: blank. I naturally assumed that since I was in the parish office that I knew her from something church related. In this instance, I assumed wrong and didn't realize it until after I had happily announced that we were expecting another girl.
What I wasn't prepared for was the person's response. "Oh, and we were so hoping this one would be a boy!" I'm sure my expression turned to one of complete confusion but not before my expression of delight over the thought of another little girl had faded from my face. You see, this is a remark that I'm used to only getting from my in-laws. It was at the very moment that the woman looked up and said, "You don't look disappointed at all. You look delighted that it's a girl!" that I realized that I had just revealed the baby's gender to my mother-in-law's co-worker. Arrgh!
I asked her to please not reveal that she knew the baby's gender to my in-laws as my husband did not want to tell them at this time given that they have almost no involvement/interest in our girls. This woman gave me her word that she would say nothing. I don't want to jump to judgement on anyone, but I think it's pretty safe to say that she didn't keep her word.
On Monday evening my mother-in-law left a ranting voicemail on Bryan's cell phone. Bryan, not one to return calls when the person on the other end of the line is certain to be irrational, chose to ignore her. Yesterday, I got a private Facebook message from his mother that had a tone that was less than friendly, particularly the part where she questioned why she is unable to see my Facebook wall. Bryan told me he didn't want me to respond to her and I complied. (Note to self: Next time Bryan says I don't listen to him, cite this.)
Today my mother-in-law left Bryan another voicemail. This time she was ranting about the defamation of her character that "someone" did in front of his child and her coworker. She also went on to insinuate that he probably was unaware of it as he wasn't the one to do it and that the person who did it probably didn't tell him or think he'd find out. Sorry, but I called my husband as soon as I got to the car to let him know that I accidentally let his mom's co-worker know the baby's gender. I also told him that she gave me her word that she would not say a word about it.
I think it's funny that she insinuates that I'm a liar and the bad guy in all of this. In her last voicemail she accuses me of driving a wedge in the family (a family in which I am not considered a member) and a whole host of other things. Perhaps someone doesn't understand the definition of defamation of character.
If you never visit your grandchildren, yet you live 20 minutes away and work 5 minutes from where they live, you can't call yourself involved. Same goes, if you never call to see how your grandchildren are doing or even just to say hello to them. If you stop by the house for 30 seconds on Christmas Eve to drop off your gifts for your grandchildren and run before they can even give you a hug, you're not involved. If you decide that you'd rather drop presents off on our porch and run (meaning she didn't even the ring the bell or knock) you aren't very interested in seeing us. (I had a lovely dessert that I would have loved to share that day.) If all of the above statements describe you and you have only seen my children for 15 minutes since Thanksgiving, I think it's fair to say that you are not an involved grandparent in any way shape or form.
Since late Friday night, life around here has been drama filled. Actually, that's an understatement. Life has been bubbling over with drama and it's oozing all over the place. I don't go looking for drama, it just comes and finds me.
Friday night is when we found out that Madeline's soccer coach didn't get the travel soccer team. Instead, the board decided to take a vote on a night when two of the supporters for our coach of choice were unable to make the meeting. The result: our coach lost the board's vote by one when he would have won it by one vote had our supporters been there. The weekend ended up being filled to the brim with soccer drama. On Saturday night, things were starting to clam down a bit. It was then that we found out that Madeline made the travel team and our coaching staff (Bryan, Coach R and Coach D) began to discuss the possibility of our girls playing for this coach in order to give them the opportunity to play more challenging teams. That in turn spilled over into Sunday and still the drama is bubbling over even today. Feelings and emotions on the part of the one coach are very raw at the moment. Every time we think we've reached a point where we can just have peace, texts, emails or phone calls start.
As if the soccer drama wasn't enough, in-law drama has peaked. FUN! On Monday I very innocently visited the religious education office at our parish to drop off some VBS registration checks that I had recently received, to pick up a few more registrations that had come to the parish office and to chat with the deacon and his assistant. I had Ellie with me and she had a good time visiting with me
Ordinarily, someone congratulating me on this joyous event doesn't cause any problems. This time was different. I recognized the person right away, but I couldn't place her. Name: blank, How I know her: blank. I naturally assumed that since I was in the parish office that I knew her from something church related. In this instance, I assumed wrong and didn't realize it until after I had happily announced that we were expecting another girl.
What I wasn't prepared for was the person's response. "Oh, and we were so hoping this one would be a boy!" I'm sure my expression turned to one of complete confusion but not before my expression of delight over the thought of another little girl had faded from my face. You see, this is a remark that I'm used to only getting from my in-laws. It was at the very moment that the woman looked up and said, "You don't look disappointed at all. You look delighted that it's a girl!" that I realized that I had just revealed the baby's gender to my mother-in-law's co-worker. Arrgh!
I asked her to please not reveal that she knew the baby's gender to my in-laws as my husband did not want to tell them at this time given that they have almost no involvement/interest in our girls. This woman gave me her word that she would say nothing. I don't want to jump to judgement on anyone, but I think it's pretty safe to say that she didn't keep her word.
On Monday evening my mother-in-law left a ranting voicemail on Bryan's cell phone. Bryan, not one to return calls when the person on the other end of the line is certain to be irrational, chose to ignore her. Yesterday, I got a private Facebook message from his mother that had a tone that was less than friendly, particularly the part where she questioned why she is unable to see my Facebook wall. Bryan told me he didn't want me to respond to her and I complied. (Note to self: Next time Bryan says I don't listen to him, cite this.)
Today my mother-in-law left Bryan another voicemail. This time she was ranting about the defamation of her character that "someone" did in front of his child and her coworker. She also went on to insinuate that he probably was unaware of it as he wasn't the one to do it and that the person who did it probably didn't tell him or think he'd find out. Sorry, but I called my husband as soon as I got to the car to let him know that I accidentally let his mom's co-worker know the baby's gender. I also told him that she gave me her word that she would not say a word about it.
I think it's funny that she insinuates that I'm a liar and the bad guy in all of this. In her last voicemail she accuses me of driving a wedge in the family (a family in which I am not considered a member) and a whole host of other things. Perhaps someone doesn't understand the definition of defamation of character.
If you never visit your grandchildren, yet you live 20 minutes away and work 5 minutes from where they live, you can't call yourself involved. Same goes, if you never call to see how your grandchildren are doing or even just to say hello to them. If you stop by the house for 30 seconds on Christmas Eve to drop off your gifts for your grandchildren and run before they can even give you a hug, you're not involved. If you decide that you'd rather drop presents off on our porch and run (meaning she didn't even the ring the bell or knock) you aren't very interested in seeing us. (I had a lovely dessert that I would have loved to share that day.) If all of the above statements describe you and you have only seen my children for 15 minutes since Thanksgiving, I think it's fair to say that you are not an involved grandparent in any way shape or form.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Obviously We Made the Right Choice
Over the past eighteen weeks or so I've had a few moments where I wondered if keeping this pregnancy a secret from some family members and friends was a good idea or not. The past three days are proving that it absolutely was. In fact, if I could go back in time three days, I would have urged Bryan to keep this news quiet for just a few weeks more, if it could be helped.
With Madeline and Ellie we pretty much told everyone that we were expecting right away. I was happy to share our joy with others, but I frequently found myself wishing I wasn't fielding rude comments, prying questions and what I am fairly certain was feigned interest. What I disliked the most was the unsolicited comments and remarks that the baby "better" be a boy. Given that I really wanted a girl during each of those pregnancies I found remarks along those lines rather upsetting.
This time around I enjoyed keeping our joyful news to ourselves. I didn't have people calling me almost everyday during my first trimester asking me how I was feeling. I didn't have my in-laws pestering me asking if this one feels like a boy. How on earth would I know if the baby "feels like a boy" when I've never been pregnant with one? I also got to enjoy several months of no one asking me about names or trying to lobby for me to name the baby after them. Ok, Madeline's soccer coach is the exception. He's been lobbying for a little Rohan since he found out I was pregnant many weeks ago. When he learned the baby is a girl he decided that was OK, we could just call her little Roheina. I think we're going to pass on that suggestion.
In the past three days since the pregnancy has been known to Bryan's side of the family, all of the grief I had been hoping to avoid has flooded in like a collapsed dam on a small town. The in-laws seem rather unimpressed that they will have another baby in the family. My mother-in-law's "husband" has made references to the ultrasound picture saying that our dog is pregnant. My sister-in-law in trying to guess the baby's gender based on the ultrasound picture has made crass comments that it looks like our little boy is trying to "reach his erect wee-wee." Who, I ask you, makes such comments about an unborn baby? I can't tell you how livid I was, and still am about that remark.
What I was prepared for in the least was for anyone to make comments that three kids is enough already. I'm sorry, but three children in a span of 10+ years is not a lot of kids. It's not as though I've had three kids in three years or anything like that. My first child was born in September 2001 and my third child is due in October 2011. And, it's not that we've chosen to have another child that is the issue, it's actually that this particular person is irritated that she will have to buy gifts for another one of our kids. Not once have I ever told anyone that they must purchase a present for my children. I find a comment like this incredibly disturbing considering it came from Madeline's Godmother. Further proof that I need to find more suitable Godparents for this new baby. Clearly we haven't done too well in picking Godmothers the first two times.
What I find absolutely remarkable in all of this is that friends, neighbors, parents of my children's classmates, and people who I only know through blogs are more excited about this baby than my husband's side of the family. And just in case you think that maybe babies are a dime a dozen on his side of the family, they aren't. We have the only children. I'm happy that my family are excited about the baby. My mom has been happily announcing our good news to my aunts who are all delighted to hear about their new great niece who's on the way. I've yet to hear a negative comment from them.
Maybe the odd reaction I'm getting is just a result of the Culture of Death that seems to have a firm grip on most of society. It's all very bizarre.
With Madeline and Ellie we pretty much told everyone that we were expecting right away. I was happy to share our joy with others, but I frequently found myself wishing I wasn't fielding rude comments, prying questions and what I am fairly certain was feigned interest. What I disliked the most was the unsolicited comments and remarks that the baby "better" be a boy. Given that I really wanted a girl during each of those pregnancies I found remarks along those lines rather upsetting.
This time around I enjoyed keeping our joyful news to ourselves. I didn't have people calling me almost everyday during my first trimester asking me how I was feeling. I didn't have my in-laws pestering me asking if this one feels like a boy. How on earth would I know if the baby "feels like a boy" when I've never been pregnant with one? I also got to enjoy several months of no one asking me about names or trying to lobby for me to name the baby after them. Ok, Madeline's soccer coach is the exception. He's been lobbying for a little Rohan since he found out I was pregnant many weeks ago. When he learned the baby is a girl he decided that was OK, we could just call her little Roheina. I think we're going to pass on that suggestion.
In the past three days since the pregnancy has been known to Bryan's side of the family, all of the grief I had been hoping to avoid has flooded in like a collapsed dam on a small town. The in-laws seem rather unimpressed that they will have another baby in the family. My mother-in-law's "husband" has made references to the ultrasound picture saying that our dog is pregnant. My sister-in-law in trying to guess the baby's gender based on the ultrasound picture has made crass comments that it looks like our little boy is trying to "reach his erect wee-wee." Who, I ask you, makes such comments about an unborn baby? I can't tell you how livid I was, and still am about that remark.
What I was prepared for in the least was for anyone to make comments that three kids is enough already. I'm sorry, but three children in a span of 10+ years is not a lot of kids. It's not as though I've had three kids in three years or anything like that. My first child was born in September 2001 and my third child is due in October 2011. And, it's not that we've chosen to have another child that is the issue, it's actually that this particular person is irritated that she will have to buy gifts for another one of our kids. Not once have I ever told anyone that they must purchase a present for my children. I find a comment like this incredibly disturbing considering it came from Madeline's Godmother. Further proof that I need to find more suitable Godparents for this new baby. Clearly we haven't done too well in picking Godmothers the first two times.
What I find absolutely remarkable in all of this is that friends, neighbors, parents of my children's classmates, and people who I only know through blogs are more excited about this baby than my husband's side of the family. And just in case you think that maybe babies are a dime a dozen on his side of the family, they aren't. We have the only children. I'm happy that my family are excited about the baby. My mom has been happily announcing our good news to my aunts who are all delighted to hear about their new great niece who's on the way. I've yet to hear a negative comment from them.
Maybe the odd reaction I'm getting is just a result of the Culture of Death that seems to have a firm grip on most of society. It's all very bizarre.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
What A Day!
Yesterday was rather eventful to say the least. From 6AM til 8PM my day was packed with more than enough excitement. Some of it I could have done without and other moments I'd happily repeat several times over.
Madeline woke up not feeling well. Actually, she went to bed on Sunday night not feeling well. Her stomach had been bothering her, but I figured it was due to lack of sleep from the sleepover party she went to the night before. Turns out I was wrong. As soon as we arrived at the admissions department of the hospital where I was having my 20 week ultrasound done, Madeline began to vomit. Thankfully, she made it to a trash can so she only created a contained mess. We had no idea that was coming! I figured that was simply going to set the tone for the overcast day that was supposed to be "Fun in the Sun Day" for Ellie's school.
Fortunately, Madeline's vomiting was limited to that single incident and we were able to do the ultrasound without any extra excitement. The ultrasound was probably the best one I ever had in terms of clarity. And I don't know if we're just old pros at this now, but it was the first time Bryan and I were able to fully follow the ultrasound. I knew what we were looking at before the technician even had a chance to tell us. Things that caused me worry with the last pregnancy were quickly not a concern for me. This baby does not have choroid cysts, like Ellie did. We also got to see the baby's feet and ten perfect toes. I was pretty far along before I finally got to see Ellie's feet. We got to watch the baby's heart pump blood with this neat feature that showed the blood in orange as it moved through the four chambers. The spine and all of the baby's bones were shown in amazing detail. My only regret is that I was given just three pictures from the ultrasound. I wish I had a few more.
Finding out the gender was pretty easy. Our first glimpse of the baby was of the bottom. I suspected that I knew exactly what I was looking at as soon as I saw it. Bryan also picked up on it as well. Minutes later when the tech focused in on finding out the gender she had a perfectly clear view and our suspicions were confirmed. Unfortunately, the tech didn't realize we would want a picture of this to show family and ten minutes later when she went back to get a picture for us, the baby wasn't being quite so cooperative. Let's just say that someone enjoys crossing their feet at the ankles.
The night before the ultrasound Bryan wanted everyone to take a guess at the gender. I honestly had no idea and he wasn't accepting hermaphrodite as a valid answer, so I picked girl since I had scored an adorable girly toy for $2 this past weekend at a yard sale and I really wanted to be able to use it. Not to mention I love buying dresses. Madeline and Bryan guessed girl, and Ellie was still holding strong to boy. The catch with guessing was Bryan said the winners would get ice cream and the loser would have to buy it. It was a joke, but Ellie didn't like that the guesses were stacked against her. She insisted that she would not be buying us ice cream if she was wrong.
When we discovered the gender, it turned out that the majority was right. We're expecting another little girl! I can't tell you how thrilled I am that I get to add another beautiful little girl to our family. I spent a good part of the day yesterday digging through the girly clothes that I had saved from when the girls were babies. Surprisingly, I already have a nice amount of 0-3 month and 3-6 month clothing. I guess it's a good thing I've always saved my favorite outfits from each size!
Since Madeline was sick yesterday, I wasn't able to take Ellie to her Fun in the Sun Day. I managed to find a mom from her class that was willing to look after her and bring her home so she wouldn't have to miss out on the fun. Having a sick kid at home meant that I couldn't go out shopping for pink things. I was more than a little bummed. I spent all this time waiting to find out and then I was stuck in a holding pattern. I suppose it could have been worse. We could have gone to the ultrasound and not learned the baby's gender.
Since I had to stay at home, I worked on straightening up the place and organizing baby things while Madeline became one with the couch. Once Ellie returned home she spent some time going through baby things with me, and that's when I added a little extra fun to my day. In an effort to avoid tripping over Ellie in the baby's room, I slammed my big toe into a basket that held a bunch of rattles. End result: basket 1, me 0. I came away with a toe nail that spilt down the middle about 1/4-1/3 of an inch. Fun!
After the toe stubbing incident I decided that I needed to direct my focus towards the VBS meeting I was holding last night. I got everything organized and realized that my attention to girly baby clothes put me a little behind on meeting preparations. I then rushed to create samples of the VBS crafts for the arts and crafts portion of the program. I wanted to give the teachers an idea of what the kids would be doing in order to help them in planning their classroom activities.
Somehow I managed to pull everything together in enough time to be prepared for the meeting. I'm very happy that the meeting went well and that I didn't run over time wise.
Since Bryan's side of the family was still unaware that we are expecting, he posted a picture from our ultrasound last night. Amazingly, the response from his family has been underwhelming. It appears that wishing my brother-in-law's dog a happy birthday on her Facebook page is more exciting than a new addition to the family. Is that not truly bizarre?
Yesterday was certainly a full day! I'm still riding on a cloud of absolute joy knowing that there's a 90% chance that we'll be welcoming another little girl to our family.
Madeline woke up not feeling well. Actually, she went to bed on Sunday night not feeling well. Her stomach had been bothering her, but I figured it was due to lack of sleep from the sleepover party she went to the night before. Turns out I was wrong. As soon as we arrived at the admissions department of the hospital where I was having my 20 week ultrasound done, Madeline began to vomit. Thankfully, she made it to a trash can so she only created a contained mess. We had no idea that was coming! I figured that was simply going to set the tone for the overcast day that was supposed to be "Fun in the Sun Day" for Ellie's school.
Fortunately, Madeline's vomiting was limited to that single incident and we were able to do the ultrasound without any extra excitement. The ultrasound was probably the best one I ever had in terms of clarity. And I don't know if we're just old pros at this now, but it was the first time Bryan and I were able to fully follow the ultrasound. I knew what we were looking at before the technician even had a chance to tell us. Things that caused me worry with the last pregnancy were quickly not a concern for me. This baby does not have choroid cysts, like Ellie did. We also got to see the baby's feet and ten perfect toes. I was pretty far along before I finally got to see Ellie's feet. We got to watch the baby's heart pump blood with this neat feature that showed the blood in orange as it moved through the four chambers. The spine and all of the baby's bones were shown in amazing detail. My only regret is that I was given just three pictures from the ultrasound. I wish I had a few more.
Finding out the gender was pretty easy. Our first glimpse of the baby was of the bottom. I suspected that I knew exactly what I was looking at as soon as I saw it. Bryan also picked up on it as well. Minutes later when the tech focused in on finding out the gender she had a perfectly clear view and our suspicions were confirmed. Unfortunately, the tech didn't realize we would want a picture of this to show family and ten minutes later when she went back to get a picture for us, the baby wasn't being quite so cooperative. Let's just say that someone enjoys crossing their feet at the ankles.
The night before the ultrasound Bryan wanted everyone to take a guess at the gender. I honestly had no idea and he wasn't accepting hermaphrodite as a valid answer, so I picked girl since I had scored an adorable girly toy for $2 this past weekend at a yard sale and I really wanted to be able to use it. Not to mention I love buying dresses. Madeline and Bryan guessed girl, and Ellie was still holding strong to boy. The catch with guessing was Bryan said the winners would get ice cream and the loser would have to buy it. It was a joke, but Ellie didn't like that the guesses were stacked against her. She insisted that she would not be buying us ice cream if she was wrong.
When we discovered the gender, it turned out that the majority was right. We're expecting another little girl! I can't tell you how thrilled I am that I get to add another beautiful little girl to our family. I spent a good part of the day yesterday digging through the girly clothes that I had saved from when the girls were babies. Surprisingly, I already have a nice amount of 0-3 month and 3-6 month clothing. I guess it's a good thing I've always saved my favorite outfits from each size!
Since Madeline was sick yesterday, I wasn't able to take Ellie to her Fun in the Sun Day. I managed to find a mom from her class that was willing to look after her and bring her home so she wouldn't have to miss out on the fun. Having a sick kid at home meant that I couldn't go out shopping for pink things. I was more than a little bummed. I spent all this time waiting to find out and then I was stuck in a holding pattern. I suppose it could have been worse. We could have gone to the ultrasound and not learned the baby's gender.
Since I had to stay at home, I worked on straightening up the place and organizing baby things while Madeline became one with the couch. Once Ellie returned home she spent some time going through baby things with me, and that's when I added a little extra fun to my day. In an effort to avoid tripping over Ellie in the baby's room, I slammed my big toe into a basket that held a bunch of rattles. End result: basket 1, me 0. I came away with a toe nail that spilt down the middle about 1/4-1/3 of an inch. Fun!
After the toe stubbing incident I decided that I needed to direct my focus towards the VBS meeting I was holding last night. I got everything organized and realized that my attention to girly baby clothes put me a little behind on meeting preparations. I then rushed to create samples of the VBS crafts for the arts and crafts portion of the program. I wanted to give the teachers an idea of what the kids would be doing in order to help them in planning their classroom activities.
Somehow I managed to pull everything together in enough time to be prepared for the meeting. I'm very happy that the meeting went well and that I didn't run over time wise.
Since Bryan's side of the family was still unaware that we are expecting, he posted a picture from our ultrasound last night. Amazingly, the response from his family has been underwhelming. It appears that wishing my brother-in-law's dog a happy birthday on her Facebook page is more exciting than a new addition to the family. Is that not truly bizarre?
Yesterday was certainly a full day! I'm still riding on a cloud of absolute joy knowing that there's a 90% chance that we'll be welcoming another little girl to our family.
Friday, April 15, 2011
How We Celebrated "Pink" Sunday
It seems these days that time is moving a little too fast for me to keep up. Maybe I'm overextended at the moment (completely through my own fault) or maybe I'm just a little lazy. Whatever the case may be, I'm finally getting around to writing up how we took time to rejoice on Laetare Sunday.
Presents are always good for getting little girls to rejoice, so early Sunday evening when the girls came inside from playing with their friends they found two mysterious pink packages tied with a purple ribbon sitting on the kitchen table. Instantly they wanted to know what was inside.
We told the girls they'd have to open their presents at the same time and Madeline was instructed not to say anything until Ellie had a few moments to get a good look at her present. Needless to say, Miss Blabber Mouth, who is every bit Mrs. Big Mouth's daughter exclaimed what her present said. Her sister still managed to be surprised. Apparently bewilderment and certainty that there must be some mistake had quickly overcome both Madeline and Ellie.
You see, they both opened a package with a little bracelet with two little words that happened to be the same. The girls went from total confusion to excitement in a little less than two minutes.
To celebrate our big news, we went to a local diner for dinner.
I realize the picture of the girls modeling their bracelets isn't exactly the best so I snapped a picture of Ellie today wearing a tee shirt that proclaims her new status.
Presents are always good for getting little girls to rejoice, so early Sunday evening when the girls came inside from playing with their friends they found two mysterious pink packages tied with a purple ribbon sitting on the kitchen table. Instantly they wanted to know what was inside.
We told the girls they'd have to open their presents at the same time and Madeline was instructed not to say anything until Ellie had a few moments to get a good look at her present. Needless to say, Miss Blabber Mouth, who is every bit Mrs. Big Mouth's daughter exclaimed what her present said. Her sister still managed to be surprised. Apparently bewilderment and certainty that there must be some mistake had quickly overcome both Madeline and Ellie.
You see, they both opened a package with a little bracelet with two little words that happened to be the same. The girls went from total confusion to excitement in a little less than two minutes.
To celebrate our big news, we went to a local diner for dinner.
I realize the picture of the girls modeling their bracelets isn't exactly the best so I snapped a picture of Ellie today wearing a tee shirt that proclaims her new status.
This October (hopefully September) we will welcome a new little one to our family. We're very excited and incredibly blessed.
Ellie is certain that she is going to have a little brother and she has taken the liberty of naming him Daniel. Where she got the name is beyond me. If we do have a son I doubt his name will be Daniel, but you never know. She was a bit disappointed when she found out that the privilege of naming the baby is not reserved for the big sister-to-be.
Monday, January 3, 2011
In Memory of Bryan's Grandmother
Bryan's grandmother passed away last Tuesday at the ripe old age of 95. Some of my fondest memories of his grandmother are of her playing her black upright piano in the basement of her Philadelphia row home. We could be sitting in the dining room having cookies and juice and just visiting with her and then she'd beckon us to go down into the basement with her where she'd entertain us with a lively playing of Five Foot Two. Grandmom not only played the song, she also sang it. I'm not entirely certain, but I think she might have made up a lyric or two for the song. She would usually toss in the line "Has anybody seen my gal....without a shirt!" Coming from prim and proper stock with grandparents who wouldn't say such things much less sing them it always caught me off guard. She would also tell us stories of how her oldest great granddaughter would run up and down the basement when she played the song. When Madeline was 15 months old, she also ran all over the basement joyfully squealing as Grandmom played Five Foot Two for us. Ellie sadly never not to hear Grandmom play Five Foot Two. By the time she was born the piano had been given away and even if Grandmom still had the piano at the house she still wouldn't have been able to get down the basement steps easily enough to play it.
So in memory of Grandmom, who we will bury tomorrow, I leave you with this piano rendition of Five Foot Two. It's a pretty good version, but it's not nearly as good as the way Grandmom played it, and I'm convinced the song is much better when sung and played.
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