Wednesday, February 23, 2011

A New Chewy Granola Bar Poster Child

Years ago there was a commercial for Quaker Chewy Granola Bars where a series of kids saying things that would totally mortify their parents were shown.  At the end of the commercial was a tag line that essentially said those kids needed a Chewy Granola Bar to shut them up.  The commercial was funny and so very true.  Tonight, I believe Madeline exhibited the qualities needed to be the new Chewy Granola bar poster child.  One thing is clear, you can't put a price tag on mortification.

I needed desperately to hit the local Shop Rite and get a small list of foods that an hour ago I decided were absolutely necessary for my survival: Heath Bars, seltzer water, strawberry yogurt with granola that you mix in, and Zesta saltines so I can bug Bryan to make me Campbell's tomato soup (the pedestrian kind that is concentrated and not at all fancy).  I was going to begrudgingly go to the store on my own an absolutely brilliant idea in hindsight but Bryan was moved to round up the kids and accompany me despite the fact that he didn't want to leave the house.  So the whole family trucked to the supermarket to get my odd list of  "essential" food items.  We were seconds from grabbing the last item on the list when one of our parish priests said hello to me.  This is the priest who for nearly two years has been trying in vain to get Ellie to be his friend.  She's more than happy to befriend our parish deacons, but for some reason she shies away from priests.  She won't shake their hands, give them a high five, tell them to have a nice week or give a hug when asked.

Father managed to sneak up on her tonight and say hello without her freaking out or running away.  I took it as a good sign considering she wouldn't give him the picture she drew of him and her this afternoon without me by her side.  Then he asked her when she's going to start altar serving (He coordinates our altar servers.)  That's when Madeline decided to show us that she should be the 2011 Quaker Chewy Granola Bar poster child.  "Not while you're here!" my precious nine year old bluntly put it.  GAAAA!  I froze.  Then I turned away from the candy I was seeking and stared at Bryan in total disbelief and shock.  Poor Father chuckled it off, but Bryan and I felt horrible.  Madeline had no idea that what she said was even hurtful.  I guess Madeline also doesn't realize that her sister is four years away from being old enough to altar serve at our parish.  A lot can change in four years, and I hope Ellie will outgrow her priest phobia by then.

So now we're home and I realize that we have no Chewy granola bars.  I didn't think we needed them, but now I'm not so sure.  I'm hoping that Father was not offended by what my mother would call Madeline's "diarrhea of the mouth."  The way she said it made it sound like we don't like him (absolutely not the case) and that made us feel even worse.  While Madeline thinks her sister doesn't like him, that's honestly not the case.  She likes to talk about our parish priests and is curious about them, but I think she's just too scared to actually talk to them.

1 comment:

  1. Oh no poor you! You must have been mortified! It was quite funny to read though, sorry!! I'm sure Father found it funny too. x


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