Must Stress Less

There's no doubting it, I'm stressing myself out.  This morning I woke up and after staying in bed for a few minutes I realized that I was feeling pretty good.  Then my feet hit the floor and within minutes I was thinking about everything I needed to do today and then my side started hurting again.  Ugh!  Talk about frustrating.  I feel like I'm my own worst enemy right now.  I don't want to worry and I don't want to stress about anything, but it's like I'm unable to do anything but that.

Bryan being away on a business trip alone is stressful enough.  It's just me and the kids and I really feel the burden of shouldering all the responsibilities.  Most mornings that Katie has school Bryan will take her, but when he's gone that's my job.  Fortunately Madeline and Ellie are capable of helping to get Katie and Anthony dressed and fed in the morning, so that's a big help.  Otherwise there's no way I'd be out the door with Anthony in time to make it to Mass.  Food, however, is a problem.  Bryan is the one who usually cooks dinner so evenings are just rough for me.  And right now there are a lot of foods I don't want anything to do with so those are kind of off the menu for a time.  That leaves me with pretty much nothing to cook for dinner.  Tonight was night two of cereal for some of us, and I got a little creative in finding other options for Anthony that weren't PB&J sandwiches, waffles or bananas.  One more night of figuring out what to feed three of the kids until Bryan is home.  Madeline was at youth group tonight where she had dinner and she's about to go on retreat, so she at least has been eating non-cereal items for dinner.  Lucky girl!

I think it's just impossible for me to relax when I feel like I just have so much going on that I feel like I'm barely keeping my head above water.  I'm hoping that once Bryan is home I will be able to feel a bit less stressed.  It always seems like it is worse when he is gone.  In fact, I started to feel really awful and had the beginnings of this problem while he was gone for a few weeks ago.

I know homeschooling is a big stressor for me right now.  I'm having a hard time keeping Madeline on track and she has a lot of ground to cover in the coming months to get everything completed.  She's going to a local Catholic high school next year and while we have until late July to complete all of her 9th grade work with Seton, we would like to have her final grades for the year sent to the high school by the end of their school year.  She did do a good job in the past week of chipping away at several assignments but she seems to have lost momentum this week.  Honestly, the sooner the can finish all of her work for the year the better.  I know once she's done I'm going to feel like a weight has been lifted off of me.

Just last night, I decided that the most stress relieving thing I could watch on tv after the kids went to be was episodes of Rugrats.  I used to watch that show all the time when I was in high school and  college just to decompress and not have to think about anything else.  So it was a bit relaxing last night to sit and watch that show.  I'll likely watch more of it tonight as I try to unwind.