Tuesday, February 16, 2016

So Much for Everyday

I meant to blog yesterday but between falling asleep on the couch for a few hours mid day and getting caught up in the History Channel Series The Men Who Built America my day rapidly disappeared.  I spent six hours last evening watching three of the episodes from that series.  It was nice not having to watch Sofia the First and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.  I feel like I see too many of those shows.

My gallbladder ultrasound is tomorrow morning.  I'm hoping it will show the reason why I'm having so much pain on the right side.  From there, we'll have to see what, if anything, the doctors are willing to do for me.  I called and set up an appointment with a surgeon today at the request of one of my doctors only to have the receptionist tell me that I was wasting my time.  It appears that there are certain medical conditions that make medical professionals unwilling to consider the possibility of treating you.  As I told the one doctor I saw today, I'm experiencing pain at times that is more painful than labor, and lasts far longer than I've ever labored.  I told the receptionist at the surgeon's office that I'd like an appointment anyway even if it is a waste of time.  I'm hoping it won't be.

The more I described the pain I was having to the doctor I saw this morning the more she kept nodding and affirming what I was saying until she said that everything I described was exactly how she felt just before she had to have her gallbladder removed.  She seems to think there's a good chance I have gallstones.  All I know is if it's stones or an inflamed gallbladder, I want something done as soon as safely possible so I can stop feeling so awful.

I feel like I'm near useless at present.  I've gone another week since doing any laundry or even setting foot in the basement.  If it's not on the main level or upstairs, I pretty much have nothing to do with it.  Outside of making sandwiches or a bowl of cereal for the smaller kids, I haven't prepared any food for anyone who isn't me.  Fortunately Madeline, Ellie and Bryan can all make food and all know how to do laundry.  Otherwise I think we'd all be half starved and wearing dirty clothes.

I took the older kids to confession on Saturday and while discussing my severe dislike of suffering, I got asked if I ever just want to time travel in those situations.  Yes!  I do!  I really do.  And finally, someone else gets how I feel! For instance, if I could go back a few months, I'd go and have my [then] infrequent gallbladder pain looked at and hopefully addressed.  I'd also have insisted on seeing an ENT dr. before December so my sinus inflammation could be treated with the preferred treatment option.  If I could go forward, I'd skip ahead to October or November.  But I guess if I had the ability to time travel that I'd be skipping out on chances to offer up my suffering, as well as numerous chances to really lean on Our Lord for his grace and support.  Do I want to suffer?  Not at all, but if it's what I'm being called to do, then I'll do my best however imperfectly I may do it.  I told Father in confession that I feel like it's been Lent for me for the past month.  So while everyone else was on day four of Lent, for me it was day thirty-one and yet, Easter won't get here any earlier for me.

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