Shifting Gears

This morning Bryan and I took Madeline to the high school she will be attending next year.  It's a school that several people we know either send or have sent their kids to and all of them have been happy with the experience.  Today we had a meeting with the guidance counselor to go over her current classes and what she would take for next year.  I'm very pleased that between the curriculum from Seton and the two independent studies that we added to her course load that she won't be missing anything that is required for her to graduate.

The only question is whether or not she will need to take biology.  It's a freshman course at this school, and with Seton it's a sophomore year course.  She's presently taking Earth Science.  The guidance counselor thinks what she has will be sufficient, but she's going to double check to make sure she won't be lacking when it comes time to apply to colleges.

Madeline spent the day shadowing a sophomore so she could get an idea of what the classes she will be taking will be like next year.  She had a good day and is looking forward to next school year.  She got to meet several of the girls who play for the soccer team and they were happy to hear that she plans to play with them.  Apparently the team needs more girls, and from what they were telling Madeline, it sounds like she'll get play time.

I'm hoping that this will be a good switch for her.  She's not particularly thrilled with the Seton curriculum, and for some of the classes I can't say I blame her.  I do feel like some of the classes are a bit on the impossible side and I've grown tired of the very obscure seemingly sneaky trick questions Seton likes to toss out in their tests.  Even with me using the test to create a study guide, I've found that there are lots of times where the correct answer to a question seems to be nowhere in the text or lesson plan.

So while I'm not entirely thrilled that we won't be homeschooling for high school any more, I do think the switch has the potential to be a good thing.  I'll know better once the school year starts and we see how things go.  What I do like about this school is it is small, has a great reputation for turning out students who are well prepared for college, and has a very good priest who used to be at our parish as a religion teacher for sophomore and senior year.  Daily Mass is even available on campus at the end of every school day for students who wish to go.  I think that's pretty cool, and I suspect it's part of the initiative started by our bishop a few years ago to foster a Catholic identity in the diocese high schools.

Ellie's Crazy Hair

This week Ellie's school is having "Anti Bullying Week" and each day has the kids either dressing up a certain way or something like that. Today she was supposed to dress up for career day.  When her original idea of PE teacher didn't work this morning she switched to dress pants and a nice shirt and decided to go to school as a teacher.  Quick, easy and done.

Tomorrow is crazy hair day.  We've done a few crazy hair days in the past and we usually are pretty tame with it.  Maybe one side is a braid and the other a pig tail or something like that.  This time we decided to add a little twist.

We went with a braid on one side which I was going to make look like a Kirsten from American Girl braid loop.  But then we were trying to figure out what to do with the other side.  We ended up doing a throw back to an old hair style I used to love on Ellie where she had two cute knots or "knotsies" as I used to call them until people thought my child was taking about Nazis when she was complimented on her hair.  Yes, you get strange looks when people ask if your four year old just said something about the Nazis and you try to explain that that's what you call her hair-do.

So here's the 360 of Ellie's crazy hair for tomorrow.  I'm assuming she might get some funny looks at Mass tomorrow morning.

{Pretty, Happy, Funny, Real} Back to School

Capturing the context of contentment in everyday life...

{Pretty}

Today was the first day of school.  Ellie started 3rd grade at the elementary school and Madeline started 7th grade as a homeschooler!

{Happy}

Ellie was pretty happy to go back to her old school after spending a year at our parish school.  I think the music teacher was really happy to see her, too.  She was certainly surprised!

Someone is smiling and doing math!  It's a miracle!  Oh and this picture was taken just minutes after the middle school called to inform me that my child is not at school today.  Umm...we sent her transfer info to you over a week ago and she doesn't go there anymore.  I'm still waiting for a call back from the message I had to leave them.  

{Funny}

I realized after I took Madeline's 1st day of 7th grade pictures that she wasn't wearing any shoes.  I guess you don't need them when you're learning at home.

{Real}

I think someone is intent on being a big distraction.  I had to take Katie outside so Madeline could watch her math lesson in peace and quite.  Katie was going out of her way to make as much noise as possible as soon as she realized that Madeline was watching something on the computer. I'm going to have to find some ways to keep her busy.

Visit Like Mother, Like Daughter for more pictures of contentment.

Summer Learning Plans

Usually during the summer I have my older girls do about 30 to 60 minutes of schoolwork each day during the week.  I do this to keep them from losing what they've learned during the year and to supplement the areas where I feel the school curriculum is lacking.

One area that I always feel needs an extra boost is grammar and writing.  I try to keep writing during the summer varied.  One day I might ask them to write a letter to my parents and another day I may ask them to write about a favorite activity or food.  I try to keep it fun as much as I can.

Ellie will work on writing journal posts and things of that nature using writing prompts.  We will also do some grammar workbook pages to reinforce concepts that she has learned this year.

This summer I plan on using a writing workshop with Madeline to help her improve her writing skills.  I feel like writing is falling by the wayside in the public school curriculum so I'd like to work with Madeline to ensure that she's able to write in a way that clearly conveys what she's trying to express.  I also want to help her bring her writing to a level where it captivates her audience.  Sometimes she brings home papers where a few sections will stand out as bright spots.  My hope is she will progress to a point where most of what she writes is of that sort of quality.

We'll also be working on math.  Ellie's focus will be on math facts and reviewing various concepts that she worked on throughout the school year.  We'll use the math workbook that we got her when we were going to homeschool for the second half of the year.  We were going to use the 7th grade Teaching Textbook for Madeline, but after reading what Jessica at Shower of Roses and a few others had to say about the program, I think I might just try to sell our unused copy and go back to using Saxon Math for the summer.  I do like how well the Saxon books explain each math concept.   There were many times this past school year where we would pull out the Saxon book and refer to it to see how they presented certain concepts that were confusing to Madeline.  So even though we won't cover the entire book in a single summer, we can use it for extra practice during the school year, too.

Both of the girls have required summer reading for school this year.  Ellie has to read The Lemonade War.  I think we can read that book over the course of two weeks.  She will have to fill out some worksheets about the book for school, but I won't have that information until my neighbor who is a teacher at the school she will be attending next year gives me the activity packet.  Madeline had a list of books that was given to her.  She has to select one book and then be prepared to write a two-page letter essay talking about the book and how it affected her and what she learned from reading it.  After combing through the list, we determined that we're not thrilled with any of the fiction choices.  She was interested in two of the non-fiction titles, but one of them was a graphic novel based on the Diary of Anne Frank.  I was a little disappointed that it was the graphic novel version.  Why not the real thing?  So she settled for The Crossing: How George Washington Saved the American Revolution.  I'm hoping that this will not be another summer of fighting her to do her summer reading assignment.  I like the idea of her reading this book since she will learn something about American history.  Perhaps we can make the book come alive for her and pique her interest so she can write a captivating letter essay by visiting Valley Forge this summer.

I used Grammarly  (www.grammarly.com) to grammar check this post, because toddlers make poor editors.

Homeschoolers: Give Me Some Advice

If you homeschool and are interested in giving me some advice on the subject, I'm all ears.  It appears that the option to homeschool the girls has been put back on the table by my husband and I'm once again exploring the possibility and weighing pros and cons.

To give you some background, both girls have attended private school, public school and are now enrolled in our local Catholic school.  Since we live in NJ we have the luxury of not being required to have the girls enrolled in an accredited school for homeschooling so that pretty much leaves me open to the possibility of picking and choosing what curricula I want for each subject.  I'm intrigued by the idea of getting all of our materials from one place.

A year and a half ago I went to a homeschooling conference which soured my husband on the idea of homeschooling the girls.  Part of what turned him off was how some of the curriculum seemed to be saturated with Catholicism in every single subject, so I need help finding materials that offer balance.  His concern is that we will turn the girls off of their faith and send them screaming into the hills if we ram religion down their throat at every turn.  I see his point and think it's valid.  Even the Catholic school doesn't have every subject dripping with religion.

For Math, I want something that is straight up math that is easy to understand.  We have used workbooks from Seton and Saxon in the past.

Grammar needs to be something that is solid.  I like CHC's Language of God series and have been using it with Madeline at home for a couple of years now.

I'd love to find a good vocabulary program that incorporates greek and latin roots, prefixes and suffixes for Madeline.  I learned so much from a program like this when I was in 6th-8th grades and it carried me through high school and college.

I need suggestions for a good science program that incorporates hands on experiments and labs.  It can be a faith based text or something secular.  I do not want anything that denies the existence of dinosaurs or claims that carbon dating is inaccurate and that the world is only 6,000 years old.

How important or unimportant is it to find or join a homeschool group or co-op?  My girls do have friends who are homeschooled so it's not like they'd feel like they're the only ones.

I feel like the decision to homeschool or not to homeschool is just huge.  I've have felt like I've been called to homeschool my girls since Madeline was about four years old, but I haven't had the easiest time convincing Bryan that it's the best decision for the girls.  Now he's the one suggesting that I homeschool them so I'm once again contemplating what we should do regarding the girls' education.  I think the thing the holds me back the most and causes me to worry is I'm afraid of what happens if I'm a failure at this endeavor.  Part of me feels like this is one of the most crucial decisions I can make as a parent.  It's odd, I can't imagine doing anything but homeschooling Katie when the time comes since she misses the NJ school cut off date, but I worry so much about how the girls who have been in school will adjust.

My biggest concern is for Ellie.  She has been in three different schools over the past three years and homeschooling would have her once again switching to a different learning environment.   I suggested possibly keeping her at the parish school for another year or two and just homeschooling Bryan but he's concerned that Ellie will resent that decision.  All I know is I want some continuity for her with regards to school and moving from one school to the next year after year simply isn't the best thing for her.

So please, if you can offer me any advice or words of encouragement please leave them in the comments or email me.

Mini-Crisis Averted

This blog post is more for me than it is for you my dear readers.  As I was helping Ellie to prepare for her reading comprehension test for tomorrow I began to hit panic mode as she told me she chose not to bring her reading book home even though the teacher suggested it.  This is the story of my life during the school year.  It's one of the top ten reasons why I want to homeschool  You can't forget your books/homework/lunchbox at school if you're home schooled.  I did some searching for the title of the story on line and found some study aides, but not exactly what I wanted.   Just as I was thinking about driving over to the school to see if I could get the book (one of the perks of me being involved in religious education and knowing what nights and times CCD are held), I clicked on a scribd link that I thought was a review and found Ellie's reading text book in a digital format.  Yay!  I'm so happy that I didn't have to start what will likely become a bad habit of bailing my kids out by snagging their forgotten stuff from school during CCD hours.

So now that you know the whys, you won't think it's so odd that I not only bookmarked the link to the text book but also embedded it on the blog.  I like to make sure I don't lose things like this.

Treasures Grade 2 Unit 1-2-3

First Day of School!

I am sitting in a completely quite house.  Katie is napping and Madeline and Ellie are decked out in blue plaid in their new school.  It's been a while since the house has been this silent.

We woke up bright and early this morning to start a new school year.  When I got out of bed this morning at 6:50 I was greeted by a fully washed and dressed Ellie.  Wow!  This is the kid who doesn't like to get up in the morning but she was certainly eager to start a new year of school.

I had disliked the ugly blue jumper for Ellie since I first saw it, but I have to say I think she looked pretty cute in it when I saw her all set for school this morning.  I guess it has grown on me.

Madeline was very happy with how her uniform looks.  Since our school has a summer uniform that can be worn for nearly half of the school year, I suspect she'll be taking advantage of this nice simple combination a lot.

I think it was either last year or the year before that I started spelling out the grade with our Leap Frog magnets.This year we have a second grader and a sixth grader.  It's harder for me to believe that Madeline is in sixth than it is for me to believe that Ellie is in second.

  

We're one of the very last stops on the bus route so we did a lot of waiting out front.  The bus arrived nearly five minutes after the start of school.  Eeek!

While we waited I snapped a few more pictures of them.  Madeline was very anxious that they were going to miss the bus and didn't want me taking pictures of them on the law.

Finally I told them we could walk closer to the bus stop.

After I got just one more picture on the lawn, that is.

And just like that, the bus finally showed up and the girls had to run to bus!

I can't wait to hear about their day.  I know they got there in once piece since one of our parish priests told me he saw Madeline when he was at the school this morning.

Would you believe that Katie slept through the entire morning routine?  I think she was a bit upset to discover that her big sisters and her Daddy were all missing this morning.  But I made it better by taking a trip over to the parish office to make copies for my class.  She had plenty of people of there wanting to hold her and make a big fuss over her.

Dyslexia and Education

Ever have those moments where it feels like a lot of things converge and suddenly you feel like you have a bit of a problem on your hands?  That's sort of how I'm feeling right now.

Last fall when we sat down with Ellie's teacher she mentioned that she thought Ellie might have very mild dyslexia.  She confuses b and d and p and 9.  This creates spelling and math errors as well as some pronunciation issues when she's reading.  At the time the teacher brought this up, I was only aware of the b and d confusion.

The teacher told me it was something we'd have to keep an eye on.  She was watching, too.  This morning as I checked Ellie's copy work and journal writing I saw numerous b and d mix ups.  I'm beginning to feel like she should have been evaluated by the school last year.

I asked the teacher about having Ellie evaluated, and she told us it was something we should wait on and that she'd have it done if she didn't improve.  Well, she didn't improve and she wasn't evaluated.

I'm suddenly feeling very uneasy about our educational plans for this upcoming school year.  She's going to a Catholic school next year and I'm worried that  if she is, indeed, dyslexic that they won't be able to help her there.  I know people who have had to remove their children from Catholic schools because they didn't have the resources available to help a child with dyslexia.  Am I dooming Ellie?  This year will mark school number three in three years of school [the school she went to for K only went from preschool to K, then she attended the local K-4 for 1st last year].  I'm already a bit ill at ease with the school hopping.  I want the school front to be settled so she can settle in, make friends and learn with consistency.

I still feel pulled/called to homeschool the girls and I don't know what recourse, if any we will have with the local school district to receive help for Ellie if she needs it if we homeschool her instead.  I'm feeling overwhelmed and I seriously don't know what we should be doing for her at this point.

Smarty Pants

Yesterday and today were report card day for Ellie and Madeline.  Ellie's school switched over to a new grading system this September that is a bit odd.  It's all based on end of year state standards (can we say teaching to the test?  Good, I knew that you could.) and the grades are E (excels at standards), M (meets standards), P (progressing) and N (needs improvement).  Most of the grading categories are odd and subjective.  For example, Ellie got graded on listening and responding for reading (Odd, I know.).  Apparently she excels at that in school, but I don't think she would have gotten that grade if she were home schooled.  Her entire report card was littered with E's and M's.  On the whole it was a very good report card which is being rewarded with a pull string Woody toy that will drive Madeline insane. (Who says being a parent isn't fun?)

Madeline pulled off straight A's once again.  We're very proud of her, of course, she wasn't too thrilled that we pointed out that her overall percentage grade went down in math.  Madeline hate's math.  She would have loved that Barbie doll from the 90's that said "Math is hard!"  I suppose her straight A's mean that Bryan and I will have to attend another principal's list breakfast at the middle school.  I was even more surprised to see that she has perfect attendance for the first half of the year.  Funny, you would think I'd know that she had perfect attendance, but with the craziness that is our life, things like that frequently escape my notice.

The Case for Future Baldness

I'm pretty sure that me going bald sometime in the near future is a real possibility.  If this happens it will most certainly be the result of me ripping my hair out by the handful.

I blogged about how Madeline was hit with an umbrella on the school bus yesterday which resulted in her getting a cut near her eye and a pair of badly bent glasses that are pretty new.  I spoke with the principal about this last night and I was happy to hear that she was not only concerned but was going to address the situation today during school.  It turns out her idea of addressing the issue was to ignore it.  Not the brightest thing she could do when the mom of the injured child is overdue.  I called and left her a message this afternoon and have yet to hear back from her.  She clearly has no idea who she is dealing with.  Perhaps she'll move on this issue if I call the superintendent of the school district.

Ellie came home sick from school again today.  She was fine all day yesterday and this morning so we sent her to school today.  At 11:30 I got a call from the school nurse telling me that Ellie threw up at school again.  I seriously can't catch a break here.  So since she was signed out before 1:20 today she's considered absent.  She also can't go to school tomorrow because she vomited during school today.  So she's managed to log three absences in one 3 1/2 day school week.  Awesome.

I walked around the neighborhood for an hour today trying to get contractions going.  As long as I was walking things were picking up, but as soon as I sat down everything stopped.  I was really hoping to have something going by this afternoon so I could head to the hospital tonight.  The midwife who is on call tonight is totally willing to break my water and make sure I have this baby provided I can show  up at the hospital already having contractions.  Obviously this is easier said than done.

I'm on edge right now.  I'm tired of being pregnant and I'm fed up with all the school BS that I have to deal with right now.  It's all very frustrating.  I'm fairly certain that if we had gone forward with homeschooling that I wouldn't be dealing with a sick kid and I certainly wouldn't be having the issue that we have with the bus incident.

I'm hoping that tomorrow will be a better day.  At the very least it would be nice if it were a little less stressful.

School

Last Saturday was the big day.  Bryan and I were heading to a local homeschool conference that was literally right around the block from our old house.  The plan was to register our girls whether they liked it or not in Seton's homeschool program.  After years of pestering, Bryan finally gave me the green light for homeschooling despite the fact that he still had some reservations.  So in theory, it looked like MY homeschool plans were going to fall into place on Saturday.

Let me start off by saying I'm not a Latin Mass girl.  I could totally get into the Latin aspect of it with no problem, but I'm sorry, I can't get into the head covering and skirt wearing thing.  Given a choice between the two I'd happily cover my head with some cute kerchief or snood, but skirts on a regular basis just aren't going to happen for me anytime in the near future if ever.  It's just not me, unless of course, we're talking about a cute sundress.  But I digress.  I knew going into this conference, which was held at the Latin Mass parish in our diocese,  that I was very likely to find myself being an oddity in my cute top and sweater paired with *gasp* jeans.  Yes, I was that woman, not only wearing pants, but jeans.  I saw a few men in jeans but I was the lone woman.

Anyway, how I was dressed wasn't the issue, nor should it have been.  I went and looked through the curriculum at Seton, Mother of Divine Grace and one other homeschool place.  I was impressed with how thorough the Seton material is.  Looking at the other places confirmed what I thought when I researched them on line, simply that they weren't the program for us.  I did get the impression that Seton's curriculum is a great way to ram Catholicism down your child's throat.  I don't want to say that it's bad, but I don't think the way to inspire someone to learn and embrace her faith is to foist it upon her in an overbearing way.  I suppose it works great for many families, but I can totally see how this approach could send many children screaming for the hills.

Despite the issues I saw with the curriculum, and Bryan's reaction to the curriculum, I still thought there might still be some hope in this homeschooling venture.  Then I spoke to the son of a Seton representative.  He asked if he could help us and unfortunately, he couldn't give me the answers I wanted to a question about the curriculum.  Then I decided to ask if he was homeschooled.  It turns out that he is, and when asked how he likes it, his response was very telling, and not in a good way.  It was evident based on his response that he wasn't exactly thrilled.  I asked him a few more questions and all my concerns about pretty much forcing this lifestyle on my daughters were realized.  Bryan and I wandered around the conference for a little while more.  We noticed things like children who looked incredibly unhappy, people with poor social skills (as in, they didn't interact well with others) and the family with children ranging from what I would guess ages 4 to 14 dressed in sailor suits.  After passing that family on our way out there was no way I'd be able to salvage my attempts to keep Bryan's support for homeschooling.  In short, my plans went up in smoke and it took less than an hour.

I know many of my readers are homeschoolers.  And I know that many of you are regular mainstream people (I know this based on your blog posts and pictures, and in some cases, our email correspondence.).  Unfortunately, none of you were at this conference to help me prove to my husband that I could homeschool our girls and not turn them into social nightmares.

I know neither of my girls had their heats set on homeschooling.  In fact, Ellie has been pretty adamant for the past two years that she is going to school.  Madeline has been a waffle on the issue which I have come to learn is the result of her not wanting to disappoint me.  It appears that both of my girls are pretty set on attending public school.  Neither one wanted to attend our local parish school which was another failed educational pursuit.

So now I will do my best to come to peace with the fact that the girls will attend the public schools.  I know the K-4 school is decent so I don't have any worries about Ellie.  I will supplement at home, as I have always done, and I will make my presence known at the school.  Madeline will attend the middle school next year and I will be praying that all goes well and that she isn't corrupted by the middle school kids on the bus.

On many levels I'm disappointed that homeschooling isn't going to work for us.  But oddly enough, I feel that I'm gradually becoming more at peace with the situation.  At the end of the day I want to know that the kids are happy and aren't resentful of the choices Bryan and I make for them.  I can tell you there was much rejoicing on their part this weekend when they learned that they will both be attending public school in September.  Madeline couldn't wait to tell her friends the news.  Bryan said it best as I laid in bed moping about the situation, "The girls are happy. Isn't that what we want for them?"  I suppose he's right.

To those of you who homeschool I have to say that I really respect and admire what you do.  Many of you inspire me to do more to further my children's education. You have also lead me to some great homeschooling sources which I use to supplement at home.   And for that, I thank you.

Unleashing the Mama Bear

Today started off well enough.  The kids were happy.  I was being somewhat productive.  And I was happily riding that just went to confession high.  Then, it all came to a grinding halt at 1:25 when I picked up a crying Madeline from school.

One of the school paraprofessionals (that's the fancy name for lunch room/playground aide) questioned and accused Madeline of spreading a rumor about her friend.  Madeline told her she hadn't done that and the aide apparently didn't get the response she was looking for and informed Madeline that she would be escalating the matter to the head teacher.  So my poor child comes home to me a crying, sobbing mess.  Apparently, in the public school you are considered guilty no matter what, and Madeline is now convinced that she's going to get in trouble for something she didn't do.  Reason #523 why I'm glad we'll be homeschooling next year.

I called the school in total Mama Bear mode wanting to talk to the instigator aide but she had conveniently gone home for the day.  Isn't that always the way it is?  So I let them know that I was less than pleased with how things were handled.  While this school claims to be a school of character, I have insisted for the past four years that they're really a school of characters and I made it a point to tell the woman on the phone.  Not satisfied with my response from the office (the issue is being escalated to the principal since I threatened to take the matter to the school board and superintendent) I decided to let Madeline's teacher know what is going on and see if she knows anything about the rumor.  I also let her know that Madeline is not allowed to be questioned, interrogated without a parent present.

Then, I headed out to pick Ellie up from school.  No problems at the private school.  (I've said for years that when you write that check for tuition you're paying for peace of mind.)

I arrived home to a bunch of neighborhood kids telling me about some bullies who came around and taunted the kids while I was gone.  So now I sit here waiting for them to come back so I can unleash the Momma Bear on them.  It appears that they have selected the wrong day to come looking for trouble.

And so, I will now certainly have plenty to confess when I make it back to confession on Good Friday.  Sigh.  It never ends.  I suppose a day without sin simply isn't possible for me.   Even when I don't go looking for it, it still finds me.

Narrowing Down the Options

I've been preparing all the necessary documents necessary to register the girls at our parish school.  The school, for some reason would not provide registration forms before the actual registration date.  This seemingly simple little thing bothered me immensely.  I like to be prepared ahead of time, so I would have been happy to have the forms in advance.

Tonight I got a reminder email from the school letting me know what they require for registration.  Then I scrolled down and saw the tuition for 2011-12.  It jumped $600 for the first child and $250 for the second child.  While I realize it's just $850 more, it's just enough to put the option out of consideration.

I'm disappointed, but I suspect that it's a sign that this simply isn't the right option for us.  Today has just been one of those days where a lot of major things fell into place and narrowing down the education options has just been one of them.

We're now trying to discern whether or not homeschooling is a viable option for our family.  Both girls want to attend the public school.  Madeline could go either way, but her preference is to go to the public school with her friends.  I am not sure if my concerns about the middle school are totally unfounded or not.  I know several families who really like the school and only a few who have had anything negative to say.  Ellie is pretty desperate to go to the public elementary school.

I will now spend the next several months trying to discern which of my remaining two options is best for the girls.   I hadn't expected that I'd have an answer about the parish school so soon.  Two weeks ago when I mentioned my concerns about the school issue to another mother, she suggested that I not only pray about it (which I had been doing quite a lot) but that I also put it in God's hands.  I did just that on Saturday before Mass.  I'd say I got a rather fast response.  And in some ways, I think I got my answer today about the other two options, but I'll continue to pray about it.

I'm now going to go sigh, and try to find peace in knowing that I no longer have to worry over this particular option.  Besides, I've got bigger things on my mind.  I'll blog more on that in the future.

Why is this so difficult?

Why must deciding how my children should be educated be such a difficult task?

For several months, I was fairly certain that next year I'd be homeschooling the girls.  Then, doubt decided to pop in and say "Hello!"  The doubts were the usual ones I have when I start to fret about homeschooling.  Will I be screwing the girls up socially?  I don't think I will, but who knows.  Will they resent being homeschooled?  I won't know the answer to this unless I jump off the cliff and see where I land.  Can I actually do this AND keep my sanity in tact?  Honestly, I don't know the answers to any of these questions.

Last month about a week or two before Christmas I began to panic.  You see, I've been preparing the girls for the possibility of homeschooling after this year.  Madeline is on the fence.  She likes the idea, but she also likes being at school with her friends.  I can't fault her for that.  After spending six years in school (pre-K through 4th) she's used to leaving the house and being surrounded with kids her age.  One of my concerns for her is that I simply can't provide certain experiences to her in a homeschool environment that she can have at school, such as being in chorus.  I was involved in band and chorus when I was in school so I know the value of being a part of them.  I don't want to deprive my child of that.

Ellie is the one that concerns me the most.  She wants to go to school.  She doesn't want to be homeschooled.  She's even opinionated about which school she wants to attend.  Her preference is to go to the public school where Madeline currently attends.  She has friends there who she knows from the neighborhood and her current school (kids that went to preschool with her) and her past soccer teams.

I called our parish school and got on the list for a school tour last month.  We went on the tour about two weeks ago and I liked the school, but I don't know that it's what I want for the girls.  While I like that they'd be in an environment that will foster their faith, I don't like the fact that they'll be in larger classes than you'd find in our public schools.  I'm also not incredibly thrilled at the prospect of spending close to $7,000 a year on tuition.  Of course, there's a very good likelihood that the girls won't get into the school.  The current kindergarten has one more student that their max capacity, and the school won't accept one child if they don't have room for the sibling as well.  This baffles me.  Their reasoning is they assume that the parents don't want their children in different schools.  In our case that's not an issue.  If they aren't in a school for K-8 they won't be in the same school at all.  In our district, they'll never be in the same school.

In short, I simply don't know what the right decision is for our family.  I've been doing my best to discern it, but I feel like I keep going round and round on this issue.  I'm trying to put this in God's hands, but I know a decision will need to be made at some point.  I will try to register my girls at the parish school and see if they get accepted.  Once we have an answer in that area, maybe this decision will be easier.

To complicate matters, I ordered some homeschooling curricula from two companies I have been eyeing up for a while.  I'm loving the grammar books I ordered for Madeline, and I'm pleased with the reading program and math book I ordered for Ellie.

Just a Smidge Mixed Up

It has become pretty obvious that I get a bit mixed up having two children in two schools with two different school calendars.  I do my best to make sure that each of the girls' half days and off days are clearly marked on the calendar.   Despite this, I still get mixed up from time to time.  Is Ellie off today, or is Madeline?  Which kid has a half day?  After four years at the same school I still get confused as to what time the day is over when there's a half day for Madeline. 

For the past week and a half I have been under the impression that Madeline was supposed to go back to school on Tuesday and Ellie was going back tomorrow.  I have been wishing it was the other way around for the past few days as I fretted about how Madeline would be missing the first day back to school because of the funeral for Bryan's grandmother.  I was preparing to email her teacher tonight to let her know that she wouldn't be back at school until Wednesday.  I was slightly relived that Ellie was going back tomorrow because it would allow me to notify the school that she wouldn't be in on Tuesday, and I could get the work she'd miss.  Imagine my surprise when I peeked at the calendar and noticed that the "No School" sticker was under Ellie's name for tomorrow.  I grabbed the school calendars and discovered that Madeline has school tomorrow.  Madeline, not wanting to go back to school just yet, neglected to tell me that the mom of one of her teammates told her this afternoon that she had school tomorrow.  I don't think she realized that I would have figured it out when I drove past her school on the way to Ellie's school.  And that's assuming that I wouldn't have seen/heard the middle school kids waiting for the bus on the corner at 7:30, and that I would have also not heard the kindergarten bus.  

This little situation just illustrates why my kids need to attend the same school.

School Days

The past two days have been the first day of school for my girls.  Madeline started fourth grade on Tuesday and today Ellie began Kindergarten.  So far, both are really happy with their schools.  Ever since first grade, I have worried about what kind of experience Madeline will have at school.  So far, the new teacher loves her.  It's really a great feeling when you get an email from the teacher telling you what a sweetheart your child is.  I had sent an email earlier today asking if I could send in soft pretzels for the class to celebrate Madeline's birthday this Friday and I was delighted to get an email response telling me how much she liked my daughter.  I hope this means we're on the path to a great school year.  Madeline is really happy with the new teacher, too.

Getting ready to head to 4th Grade

That's her "Mom, you're embarrassing me at school!" look.

Ellie walked into her Kindergarten class like she owns the place.  She was thrilled to see some of her friends from preschool and delighted that she was finally able to play with the cool toys I used to have to drag her away from when she was a toddler.

Kindergarten here she comes!

Ellie and I waiting to go into the school.

When we pulled up to Ellie's school this morning I freaked out.  Not because I'm sad that my baby is going to full day kindergarten, but because I suddenly realized that we didn't have a summer show and tell for Ellie.  The letter from the teacher told us to bring a show and tell item as a getting to know you type of thing and I failed miserably.  I have a track record of forgetting school related things for Ellie (I did take extra precautions to not forget stuff for her last year).  I have an even longer standing record of forgetting show and tell items for Kindergarten.  I think her teacher is used to me forgetting show and tell since I did it consistently for Madeline when she was in her class.  This morning saw me frantically running home to get some summer show and tell items for Ellie.  I'm going to try extra hard to remember show and tell for September 24th.

I should've known....

Madeline just dumped a bunch of useless wastes of a tree school announcements on me.  One was the revised school calendar.  School goes until June 22nd. (We'd be done in May if I were allowed to homeschool.) A few good weeks of lazy days by the pool wasted.

As I shuffled through the unseemly pile of announcements,  I perked up when I saw a flyer for an essay contest entitled "The Innocence of Youth Speaking for the Innocent Voiceless!"  Instantly I assumed this must be an anti-abortion essay contest.  I thought it was a bit odd considering it came from the public school.  Surely some of the pro-death mommies and daddies would be getting their panties in a knot over this one.  So I decided to read on and get the details.  It appears that the "innocent voiceless" are not the unborn human babies that are slaughtered every day, but rather they're cats and dogs.  I don't know about you, but the last time I checked, dogs and cats have voices.  It's true that they can't speak English, but they're anything but voiceless.  Amazing.   I should complain to the school that: 1. Animals have voices. 2. Plants are killed every day and they certainly don't have voices. Where's the activism for the innocent house plants that get neglected in staggering numbers daily?  Liberal hippy crap.  Yet another reason I'd love to homeschool my kids.  It may sound harsh, but there'd be none of this "Let's save the puppies and kittens!" agenda in my homeschool.

Signs That I'm Doing My Job Right

If your a conservative minded person like myself, chances are you've realized at some point in time that educators are typically liberals.  I can recall as far back as fourth grade being down graded on my papers about conservative politicians.  Did that make me change gears and write glowing reports about FDR or JFK?  No.  Instead, I decided to call the teachers on their liberal prejudices and point out precisely why they were wrong. I must have been an insufferable student for the super liberal teachers.

Madeline came home today with a social studies assignment.  She has to pick a President and write an essay about him.  She knew right off the bat that Obama was off the table.  So she started to look at the list of presidents I had pulled up on the White House website.  She was mildly interested in Abe Lincoln, another President who shares our last name, Ronald Reagan (probably because I love Ron) and George W. Bush.  I pushed for Nixon because I had written several papers on him in high school and college (and still have them).  Then I tried to sell Reagan telling her that he liked jelly beans, got shot and lived (that makes him super hero cool, right) and was one of my favorite presidents.  My selling points on Nixon and Reagan didn't succeed.  Then I pointed out John Adams and tried to sell her on a founding father.  No dice.  Taking the know-it-all angle (I'm a know-it-all just in case you didn't know) I tried to sell her on George Washington telling her we could overturn all the lies they teach the kids about him in school.  No, he never chopped down a cherry tree and said "I cannot tell a lie."  She decided instead that she wanted to write about W.   While he wouldn't have been my pick, I'm not going to stand in her way. I'm just thrilled she happily selected a Republican.

I thought about emailing her teacher and asking if I should expect a lower grade on her paper since it's going to be about a Republican, but I'll be nice and wait for the grade.  It will certainly go into the school as an A paper (I have the grading rubric).  It will be impossible to keep this Republican mom with a degree in political science away from such an appealing assignment.  I shall do my best to not take over this latest project, but I'll still be very much involved.  I'll be playing the role of proofreader, writing coach, and in house historical fact consultant.  Perhaps I can get her to put in a line or two about how the liberal media has done their best to down play GWB's accomplishments, but history will remember him as a great President.  I'm becoming my dad, who also has a degree in political science. He was always my sounding board on all things history and politics related when I was in school.

Snow (again)

I'm thoroughly tired of snow. I have seen a blanket of white stretched across my property for more days than I care to remember. We had one day this week where it looked like we were finally going to start seeing the grass again. It rained all day on Tuesday and lots of our snow began to melt at long last. I was hopeful that we were finally on the way to seeing more than just white. Sadly, I was wrong.

Starting late on Wednesday night the blasted snowflakes began falling again. I was still hopeful that the snow wouldn't stick since I heard the glorious sound of melting snow for two days. It was above freezing and everyone knows that snow doesn't stick when it's above freezing.

The school district decided to have a shortened day yesterday since the snow was expected to fall all day into today. Fine. I can deal with a half day. The roads were perfectly clear and the half day was totally unnecessary. The 5:30 wake up call from the district yesterday morning was also unnecessary and annoying.

Last night the snow started coming down with a bit more oomph. I was still hopeful that school would be in session, but after a quick run to Little Caesar's to get my Crazy Bread (It's an addiction that I'm embracing now that I finally have a Little Caesar's close to home.) I realized that my hopes for a normal Friday were fading fast. Ugh! The worst part was knowing that we were likely going to get another early morning wake up call from the school district.

I didn't sleep well last night. I woke up at 1:30AM on the family room couch and realized that Bryan and I both fell asleep watching the Olympics. I got him up so we could go to bed and that's when Bryan wanted to play with the telephone. For some reason, he wanted to make sure the phone was nice and close to our bed for the school wake up call. I was in favor of shutting off the ringer and letting the answering machine take the call. I managed to convince him to keep the ringer off, but the cost was I was not wide awake. It's hard to sleep when you know that you're going to get a call that startles you awake at 5:30AM. Between my annoyance at impending early morning annoyance and my incredible wakefulness after playing with the ringer settings on the phone, I scarcely got any sleep last night. When I did manage to fall asleep, I had very vivid and odd dreams that startled me awake. (I keep having odd dreams that involve Ellie dying. I'm finding these dreams to be very disturbing.)

At 5:08AM that dreaded wake-up call came. Ugh! Another snow day. I'm so tired of snow days. Earlier this week the school sent out a revised calendar that took into account all the snow days. The administration, not wanting to extend the school year decided to strip the school calendar of just about all half days and days off between now and June 18th. Spring recess is virtually eliminated. Good Friday is the only day of Spring recess that hasn't been touched [yet]. I'll be pulling Madeline out of school on Holy Thursday and the Monday after Easter. I scheduled our dentist appointments for the Monday after Easter nearly 6 months ago, so I'm rather irritated with the school for the calendar change. Now that we have another snow day, I'm fairly confident that the school will probably turn Good Friday into a school day.

I've had it with snow and snow days. And to top it all off, Bryan and Madeline are both under the weather.

I'm ready for Spring.

What kind of a mother am I?

I've been pondering this question all day. Am I the type of mom that raises a criminal? Do I foster the kind of kids that seek to harm others to feel better about themselves? Am I raising honest kids? Or, am I raising self-serving liars? So this question about what kind of mother I must be has left me giving my parenting a long hard look.

I have tried my best to raise my children to be polite, compassionate, and honest. In many instances I have succeeded. But for some reason, certain points don't stick with Madeline. Am I just a crappy mom? Or, does my child just make bad choices or perhaps not even give any thought to her actions? I'm not sure what the answer is, but today I just feel like I'm a failure of a mom.

Today I got an email from Madeline's teacher at 9:25AM, a mere 40 minutes after she was dropped off at school. I've learned from past experiences that it's generally not a good thing when you get an email from the teacher this early in the day and the subject is simply your child's name. If you haven't received one of these emails regarding your child take my word for it when I say you don't want one. The email essentially stated that my child told a malicious lie to a classmate who has been distraught over her missing dog. What did she do? Madeline told the little girl that we found their lost dog, fed it, and Ellie let it outside this morning and it's once again missing. So the poor girl told the teacher what Madeline said. When confronted by the teacher, Madeline decided to lie (again) before coming clean. I can't for the life of me understand why she did this.

When she came home from school she concealed this incident from me for an hour. I asked her how school was and she acted suspiciously, but told me she had a good day. She did her math without complaint (very unusual). She asked for snacks. I didn't deny a single one. Lolipop? Sure. Candy cane? Why not? Hot Chocolate? You got it, kiddo! The hot chocolate pushed her over the edge. The guilt was evident on her face and she decided to come clean. I think the slight glimpse of the email from the teacher on my laptop may have prompted the confession. To unnerve her a little more, I very calmly (no yelling) talked to her and hugged her. She initially told me the teacher had it all wrong and that she lied after the teacher wouldn't believe the truth. (Madeline has actually done this many times in the past, but I don't understand why she would implicate herself like that.) I gave her the benefit of the doubt and told her that I would have to write a letter to the teacher. She guiltily sat down and drank her hot chocolate. When I mentioned to her that I would accept her version of the story as the truth she perked up a bit. Then I added that I really had no other option but to believe her because the only ones who really know what was said are her, the other girl and God. I then mentioned that God is also aware of what she's saying now. Her face dropped. At that point it was clear that she had lied to me. (What else is new?)

There was also a paper (called a "Think Sheet") that I had to sign to acknowledge that I saw what Madeline wrote about the incident and why her actions were wrong. Madeline, clearly hoping to conceal this incident from me, decided to sign the paper for me. Yep, she printed "Karen" in pencil. On some level, I found this a little humorous. I explained to her that doing that was deceitful. I also let her know that it's forgery and people go to jail for that. She was very upset when she heard that and wanted to know if she was going to go to jail. She told me she forged my signature so she wouldn't get in trouble. (I print Karen in pencil as my signature in case any of you are interested in stealing my identity.)

I told Madeline that she'd be heading off to the church Saturday morning for confession. At first, she didn't want to go. But after the forgery conversation she asked me if I could take her over to the church now. She was pretty disappointed when I explained to her that she would have to wait. All of the guilt for what she had done today had taken it's rightful place on her conscience.

I had Madeline write an apology to the little girl who she upset with her lie and another one for the teacher. They weren't exactly heartfelt apologies, but I guess a lackluster apology is better than none at all.

When Bryan came home we discussed the days events a little more. He reiterated the forgery lands people in prison point. And he wanted to know the motive for the initial lie. Turns out, she did it because the little girl isn't nice to her. Madeline has a hard time accepting that not everyone in the world will like her. She would be friends with everyone if they were all willing, so it bothers her when someone doesn't want to be her friend. We had to talk to her about how it's fine if someone doesn't like you or if you don't like someone, but it doesn't mean you can be mean to them. I was picked on as a kid and I know what it's like to want people to like you. Really, I do. But the blessing (if you want to call it that) behind being in that type of situation is you realize that it's not important to have everyone like you. I look at interactions with others like this: Either you like me, or you don't. Either way, I'm not going to let it affect how I look at myself. I try to impart this to my children, but clearly, Madeline wants to learn this the hard way. Madeline is a social butterfly, and I'm pretty sure being popular and liked by everyone is a major focus in her life.

So there's my day and the reason for pondering what kind of mom I am. I try to impart the importance of being honest and kind to others to both of my children, but for some reason it just doesn't always stick with Madeline. It confounds me, and it baffles Bryan. God help me when the teen years roll around in less than 5 years. Hopefully by then my child will be better at making good choices and have a properly formed conscience to help keep her out of sticky situations.