Top Ten Ways to Ruin a Morning

I had originally intended to do a top ten post on gardening, but after this morning I decided that a top ten on ways to ruin a morning would be more appropriate.  Unfortunately the events chronicled in this post were the bits and pieces that made up this morning.  On the bright side, I'm looking forward to an awesome afternoon.  The day simply has to improve.

1. Spend approximately two minutes fumbling for the alarm remote that your husband has decided to hide under his pillow all while listening to the grating sound of the alarm clock.

2. Greet happy baby with explosive poopy diaper.  Happy baby is good, explosive poopy diaper not so much.  Take a moment and wonder how someone with such a messy diaper can be so happy.

3. Walk into kitchen to find ten year old decked out in what we will now refer to as middle school fashion.  Sorry, but in mid-May a dark denim mini-skirt (Did I seriously buy that for her?  It had to have been a good two to three inches longer on her when I bought it a year or two ago.), peach top (the top was actually quite nice) and black patent leather sling back dress shoes do not make an appropriate outfit for the school band and chorus concert unless you want a bunch of adolescent boys looking up your skirt.

4. Help ten year old find an appropriate outfit while she laments that she doesn't have anything good to wear.  You've only been up for seven minutes at this point so pace yourself and take a moment to thank God that both of your school aged children will be attending Catholic school next year.  My children aren't wearing uniforms yet and already I am grateful that these morning battles over clothes will not exist next year.  Praise God!

5.  Rouse grumpy seven year old* and inform her that she needs to get up and eat breakfast.   Spend the next ten minutes reminding her to eat and drink.

6. Discover that your seven year old* has decided not to wet or wash all of her hair in the shower.  Send her back to wash her hair only to have her return wearing a now soaked shirt and hair that still smells and is partially dry.  Accept the fact that there is not enough time for her to take a third shower and arrive at school on time.  Opt to send said child to school as the smelly child for the day.

7.  Choose to wear sandals on a rainy day in 65 degree weather, because it's 65.

8.  Arrive at first store on the list of errands just as a massive downpour begins.  Promptly step in large puddle wearing sandals that you brilliantly chose because it was 65.  Never mind that it was raining.  It's OK.  Don't most people like to run errands in soaked shoes?  No?  Oh.

9.  Buy cute pajamas for the baby, go back out in the pouring rain to get to the car.  Wait until you are at the gas station to discover that the pajama pants never made it into the bag.  Call the store while baby screams in the background, explain the situation and be told the pants are not there.  Search van and find nothing but trash the kids claimed they threw away.  Call unsympathetic husband.

10. Go back to the store in the pouring rain, exchange pajamas for a complete set.  Marvel that the rain has let up upon exiting the store.  Change baby's diaper, place screaming, cranky, tired baby in car seat and discover that it is now 10:45.  Sigh audibly and realize that the rest of the errands on the list are not going to happen until the sun comes out.

*Oh, dear me!  I must be losing it!  Ellie isn't seven yet.  I guess after celebrating a birthday for me on Friday I tacked another year onto Ellie's age.  How funny is that?  In my defense, if you can defend being a mother and forgetting your child's age, Ellie will actually turn seven in less than two months.  So I suppose I was close.  Feel free to laugh at my total lack of brain function today.